Working Mothers

Nowadays, women take part in working life for economic and psychological reasons such as supporting their families or contributing to the family budget, raising their living standards, making a career, gaining respect, making friends, and improving their position next to their spouses.

Difficulties experienced by working mothers

A woman's involvement in working life after becoming a mother brings with it some difficulties. Chief among these difficulties is the issue of who will look after the child while the mother is at work. In this case, the question of whether to get help from a professional caregiver or whether the elders of the family will look after the child comes to the fore. Both have advantages and disadvantages. It is preferred for grandparents to take care of the child for both economic and security reasons.

However, in cases where grandparents take care of the child, the child is raised with different discipline methods, and therefore problems occur between the mother-child-grandparent. Families may have to choose professional caregivers because their elders live outside the city or have health problems. In this case, the concern of the caregiver being a reliable person who can provide long-term care is one of the biggest difficulties of the working mother.

The mother's home-related responsibilities and inability to devote enough time to her child, when she is tired from work, are also important difficulties experienced by working mothers.

 

            From time to time, workplace responsibilities and the role of motherhood may conflict. There may be disruptions in mothers' work-related plans, especially when the child is sick. This situation causes the problems experienced by mothers to be even more intense in workplaces where working conditions are difficult.

The effects of the mother's work on the child

 

            The effects of the mother's work on the child. mother's education level, reason for working, working conditions, status, earnings, job satisfaction, quality of mother-child relationship, family relations, who will look after the child in the absence of the mother, caregiver It depends on factors such as characteristics, whether the care is continuous and balanced, the developmental stage of the child, and the number of children in the family.

 

            Studies show that the mother's work does not negatively affect the child most of the time. Non-working mothers being at home with their children all day long and spending more energy on child care and discipline can cause the mother-child relationship to wear out. Financial difficulties experienced by a non-working mother can also negatively affect the mother-child relationship. For mothers who leave work because they have to take care of their children, the difficulties caused by being isolated from social life may be reflected in the child as anger. This causes the mother-child relationship to deteriorate.

 

           On the other hand, working mothers can spare more time to do some planned activities and be together. They try to make up for the time they are not together by paying more attention to their children when they are at home. Working mothers can more easily organize activities such as going to the movies, shopping, reading books to their children, and participating in various activities. In addition, the feeling of productivity and self-confidence that comes with working makes the mother happier and more peaceful. When the mother is happy and peaceful, her relationship with her child will be healthier and more satisfying.

 

            The mother's work is important for the development of the child's self-perception. This situation especially affects girls positively. Studies show that girls whose mothers work have a more socially feminine role and have more academic success and career goals than girls whose mothers do not work.

 

            However, the severity of the mother's working conditions increases her job satisfaction. If the mother does not work and has problems in caring for the child, the mother's work will negatively affect the mother-child relationship. Coming home from work tired, unhappy and anxious The working mother's tolerance towards her child may decrease.

 

The working mother and her sense of guilt

Most of them try to do whatever their children say and get everything they want because of the feeling of guilt of not being able to spend enough time with their children. They have difficulty setting limits and rules. This situation causes the child to see the mother as a means of financial satisfaction and to become an insatiable individual in the future, and to have difficulty in adapting to social life because he does not know the rules and limits. Because of the feeling of guilt of not being able to spare time, most mothers try to meet every need of their child and do everything on their behalf. This situation negatively affects the development of the child's skills and self-confidence, causing the mother to become a dependent individual, as well as causing the mother to spend more energy and waste the quality time she could spend with her child. In this case, the problems experienced by the child regarding his mother's work increase.

 

            The quality and form of the relationship the child establishes with his mother and the feeling of trust that this relationship creates in the child are very important. Many studies show that when there is a healthy family environment, there is similar intelligence and emotional development between children whose mothers work and children whose mothers do not work. The quality of the relationship between mother and child and the time spent together is more important than the amount.

 

Quality time

 

          Spending quality time means establishing quality and continuous togetherness. Quality time is the time when the child is listened to effectively, his/her wishes, feelings and thoughts are tried to be understood, and his/her expectations such as playing games, chatting and doing activities can be met. If the time allocated to the child can be spent fully and meaningfully, many negativities can be prevented.

 

          During the time spent with the child, responsibilities should be given to the child in line with his age and skills. Giving advice, doing a job together, talking about daily life, and listening to what the child tells with interest and attention will increase mother-child communication; In this way, the negative effects of the mother working will be minimized. Sharing a certain period of time every day is important for the emotional development of the child.

 

Suggestions for working mothers

• Avoid approaches that may negatively affect your child's personality development, such as buying or doing whatever he wants due to the feeling of guilt of being a working mother, or buying gifts on the way home every evening.

• Spend time with your child after work. Create opportunities to spend time with children.

• It is important to spend quality time with the child, not too much time. Plan the time you will spend together in advance, according to your child's age, skills and wishes.

• Find a caregiver you trust and who can provide long-term care.

• Try to be with your child at times that are important for your child, such as birthdays or school plays.

• When you are tired or stressed, indicate this situation to your child in a way that he can understand and ask for time to rest. Plan the activity you will do together after you rest.

• Try to make time for yourself. Doing activities that will help you recharge will make the time you spend with your child and family more productive.

• You can ask for help with housework depending on your child's age and skills. In this way, you can help him become a responsible individual and develop his sense of confidence.

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