Marriage counseling is a psychological counseling process that focuses on the relationship system between two people who are romantically linked (married, engaged, lover and living together). The concept of marriage (couple) counseling is in everyday language relationship counseling, couple counseling, marriage and relationship counseling couple and family counseling, family and couple therapy, marriage therapy, family therapy, It is also used synonymously with concepts such as >marriage and family counseling.
Marriage counseling service, psychologists, social workers and counselors trained in the solution of marriage and family problems It is made by. marriage counsellors for upractitioners who have received training in marriage and family counseling, and counselor for those who receive marriage counseling
What is Marriage Counseling?
The psychological counseling process that systematically approaches the relationship of two people with emotional bonds is marriage (couple) counseling It's called strong>. Marriage and relationship counseling is a form of emotional, intellectual and behavioral relearning in healthy communication and interaction in a safe environment offered by the counselor to the couple. Marriage counselor helps both partners in their individual development, on the other hand, it helps the couple to improve and develop their relationships and establish a harmonious relationship with their social environment by working as a team.
Marriage counselor
strong> helps the couple to have a healthier marriage relationship by using special marriage counseling techniques to eliminate the factors that impair the functionality of the couple and to increase the couple's harmony. Couples come with a lot of problems and conflicts before getting marriage and family counseling. Acute marital crises, root family problems, sexual dysfunction, jealousy, infidelity and communication problems. bees are some of them. Most chits are in a marital crisis or cycle of destructive arguments when it comes to marriage counseling. They often feel incompetent in their problem-solving skills.What are the Goals of Marriage Counseling?
Marriage and relationship counseling how do the couple interact with each other? focuses on how to communicate more effectively with those they communicate with and how to approach their problems in a more solution-oriented manner. For this reason, the Marriage and family counselor first observes the content of the couple's conflicts and how they argue.
Couples accept differences, change dysfunctional marital relationship patterns, teach successful problem-solving techniques, and bond between spouses. Empowerment, teaching that they have mutual responsibility while working on problems, learning negotiation techniques, listening skills and understanding each other's point of view in their relationships are some of the main purposes of marriage and relationship therapy.
What are the Most Common Marriage (relationship) Problems that Bring the Couple to Therapy?
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Emotional intimacy.
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Confidence issues.
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Spousal indifference and disconnection.
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Inability to communicate.
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Lack of anger control.
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Raising children.
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Sexual problems.
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Injury (deception/ cheating).
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Financial problems.
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Problems over extended family.
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Divorce / separation.
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Jealousy.
Why Do Couples Have Relationship Problems?
Couples have trouble for a variety of reasons Although they live, they mostly experience marriage problems and relationship incompatibility due to individual reasons and internal reasons for couple interaction.
Reasons for Couple Interaction
In marriage counseling, most of the time, couples say that the problem is caused by their spouse, if the spouse changes, the problem is resolved. the moment comes with the point of view. The interesting thing is that the other spouse thinks that his wife should change in the same way. At this point the relationship is locked. The deadlock causes the marriage problem to continue. He is right on both sides. In this case, no problem can be solved. Unending marital conflicts become uncertain and ongoing.
What will solve the deadlock is that each spouse learns and accepts responsibility for their own behavior. The marriage therapist allows both parties to come to an agreed-upon agreement to abandon the idea that the culprit is entirely the other spouse. It encourages and encourages each spouse with small steps to restructure their interactions. Couples fall into negative interaction patterns due to reasons such as blaming, criticism, defense, resentment, lack of empathy and interactional issues. Domination/submission, demand/withdrawal, and Blame/blame cycles are just a few of them. These cycles completely take control of the couple's relationship from the couple's hands.
Couples are often unaware of these cycles. In fact, once these cycles are formed, they forget why they are arguing and start fighting over how they are arguing this time. These cycles tend to heat up very quickly. Once the cycle heats up, both partners find no other way to protect themselves from the pain than to be trapped in the cycle of escape and withdrawal.
Individual Reasons
often the things that the spouses expect and need from the relationship are from each other. is different. This situation makes problems in bilateral relations inevitable. For example, one spouse wants more intimacy and intimacy, while the other needs more privacy and boundaries. This often leads to relationship mismatch. As the intimate partner approaches their partner, the other partner withdraws. This withdrawal causes the intimacy-seeker to become anxious and want more intimacy. In response to this, the spouse seeking autonomy becomes more withdrawn. After a while, this situation, which continues between the couple, demand / withdraw me turns into a cycle of interaction and gradually becomes a situation that the couple cannot get out of.
In the same way, individual differences can cause problems in close bilateral relations. For example: one of the spouses may be introverted, speaking little, whereas the other may be extroverted and very outspoken. One is calm like still water, while the other is like a rough sea. The energy level of one is low, the other is higher. Needs and disappointments that cannot be met as a result of these individual differences can cause marital problems such as incompatibility between spouses and marriage dissatisfaction Spouses often criticize, accuse and defend when their needs are not met. tends to react by passing or withdrawing. In marriage counseling, spouses learn new ways to express their needs without blaming or defensive. family and marital therapy can be recommended in cases such as alcohol abuse. In addition, unresolved individual problems such as depression, anxiety disorders and personality disorders in one or both spouses can further complicate marital problems. In such cases, it may be very beneficial for the client to progress by benefiting from individual therapy as well as couples therapy.
Environmental (social) reasons
couples in social environment such as families, school, work environment, social institutions. lives. All these environmental factors wait for the couple to adapt to these factors. Serious environmental factors such as unemployment, migration, economic losses, natural disasters such as earthquakes may exceed the couple's capacity to adapt. In such cases, the stress of marriage increases.
In the same way, meeting the expectations of their spouses' families and adapting to what they want may be the main cause of great tension and relationship incompatibility between the couple. Generally, spouses tend to ignore or underestimate these external factors that disrupt their relationships
How to Do Marriage Counseling?
&nb sp;Marriage counselor provides a safe environment for the couple to discuss their difficult issues and frustrations. This safe environment controls the couple's emotional outbursts. The Marriage and family counsellor first listens to the couple together. Understanding each of them's concerns, perspectives and positions in the relationship, he builds a trusting relationship with each of them. Learns the couple's main complaints and the strengths of the relationship.
Then, the spouses listen separately. In these individual interviews, the individual history of each spouse is taken. It is tried to be understood how each spouse perceives their marital problems. Information obtained in the joint meeting, enlightening information is collected. Couples therapist each spouse's concerns about their marriage; learns about their positive or negative contributions to marital functionality. Marriage therapist encourages each partner to make positive and cooperative efforts.
Marriage and family counselor each partner is equal He maintains his neutrality by approaching at a distance. During the marriage counseling process, he does not allow the couples to say hurtful and hurtful words to each other. Instead of talking about the past and blaming, the couple adopts a solution-oriented approach to the problem; leads to positive communication and listening. The marriage counselor always points the arrow towards the current functioning of the marital relationship, and how they will respond more positively to each other in order to harmonize their relationship in the future.
Each spouse, under the guidance of the therapist, discusses their expectations of the relationship with the other spouse.
In the marriage counseling process, Marriage counselor evaluates the couple's relationship in terms of individual, interpersonal and social factors. makes a case formulation. Problem areas and strengths in the relationship are communicated to the couple by the consultant. In this context, how to solve the problems and how you can help them, and how the couple has their own responsibilities in this process.
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