Boundaries in relationships… One of the most important things for people is to be loved and valued by others and to feel that it is important for them. In this context, men and women come together and build a relationship together and try to grow and continue what they have built. This situation includes many elements such as love, respect, care, tolerance, love, honesty and loyalty.
In every healthy male-female relationship, 'we< There is awareness of being /strong>. The steps taken and the decisions made are always made with each other in mind.
But there is a point that is missed by almost everyone while being 'we'; ‘I’. In a relationship, the feeling of being together, belonging, and being together is essential. But it is necessary to see if I am there when we are happening.
In fact, something that looks nice and beautiful when viewed from the outside may become questionable after a while. It feels good to always be doing things like eating the things he likes, going to the places he likes, watching the movies he likes, leaving things to his choice, just because he likes them, and seeing the happiness that making him happy brings to you. However, after a while, when this situation becomes a ritual, it may turn into rejection and not wanting the things that the other party wants. At this point, decisions and activities that are pleasant and happy at first start with 'why don't we do what I want, why don't we eat, why don't we go out' and continue and grow as 'you don't respect me, you don't care about my preferences'.
Boundaries in Relationships and Example
What we call boundaries in a relationship is actually not ignoring yourself. Yes, mutually making each other happy, but at the same time not compromising on yourself. To give a simple example for better understanding;
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Our Heroes Ayşe and Mehmet.
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Let Ayşe be a couple who prefers milky desserts and Mehmet who loves them, and let's be a couple who likes heavy, sherbet desserts.
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At this point, in a healthy relationship, that is, a relationship with boundaries, you should choose places that have the desserts they both like. Even if such a place is not possible, it would be right for them to buy food from different places according to their own taste and eat it in a common place.
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But in a relationship where there is no limit and one person is more giving, Ayşe or Mehmet will have compromised himself in some way by saying 'okay, my loved one is not here, but that's okay, let's go to what you want'.
Although this may seem simple at the moment, after a while, as such situations increase and As it grows, the problems will also grow. What needs to be done is to be able to find a common ground without compromising our own tastes, loved ones, views and ideas, without giving up on them, and by respecting the other party's tastes, wishes and ideas, and accepting them for who they are. In summary in fact, boundaries help people protect their identities, physical and emotional assets, and prevent the possibility of being manipulated. For this reason, it is very important for every individual to be aware of their limits and protect them.
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