Although much has been said about sexuality and gender throughout history, homosexuality and its derivative
topics continue to be discussed and misinformation continues to circulate. Homosexual tendencies that are different from the general average
have been evaluated as wrong, distorted, and diseased throughout human history, and people with this
tendency have been viewed as perverts. Homosexuality, which was considered abnormal
by the psychology community until the 1970s, was accepted not to be a disease or a choice, and was removed from the disease
classification and accepted as natural and normal. However, although the concept of homosexuality is as old as human history, it is a natural and normal situation that is seen in many animals in nature as well as humans. There are dozens of animal species in nature that show homosexual tendencies.
While there are many reasons why homosexuality is rejected in societies, the most important are religion and social
imposing norms. Especially in recent years, many new practices have been initiated in developed countries to allow same-sex marriage
and even to adopt homosexual couples or individuals.
Homosexuality: A man's sexual and emotional attraction to men.
Lesbian: A woman is sexually attracted to women.
Bisexual: A woman or a man who is sexually attracted to both genders.
Transgender: 'If I, as a man, fall in love with a man, then 'I'm definitely a woman'
This thought is a thought that can occur in homosexual men, and it is seen that they think this way incorrectly in most societies. The behavior of thinking about getting rid of primary and secondary sex characteristics is very common in adolescents and adults. For example, they want hormones, surgery, or another type of intervention to physically change their own gender
characteristics in order to imitate the other gender. There are also two types of transsexuality, the first is primary transsexuals, these people feel in the wrong body since childhood
. Secondly, there are secondary transsexuals, these people discover that they are transsexual
at a more mature age and before they were identified as male or female during adolescence. lived. Transsexuals also have the belief that they were born with the wrong gender. They also desire a gender change for a long
period. Thanks to surgical intervention, they can live as the other/opposite gender.
Transgender/Gender Identity Disorder:
In later life, it is no longer important to grow up as a woman or a man, but more
> improving personal and social life is considered (Bussey & Bandura, 1999). Gender Identity development generally
develops globally as follows;
We learn to distinguish the face and voice of men and women.
We learn to experience ourselves as a woman or a man.
Woman. or begins to behave as a man.
There is no determination as to the exact age at which Gender Identity Disorder develops, but the child's 18-30th age. It is thought to occur in the month of
(Zucker, 1999). In boys, asserting that their penis or testicles are disgusting, that they will disappear in the future, or that it would be better not to have a penis, is rude and unruly. A number of behaviors are observed, such as aversion to games or rejecting male-specific toys, games and activities. In girls, refusing to urinate while sitting down, claiming that they have a penis or will have a penis in the future.
It manifests itself through behaviors such as not wanting breasts to grow or to menstruate
or a strong disgust for ordinary feminine clothing. In adolescents and adults, expressing a desire to be of the other gender often manifests itself
as the other
It manifests itself as pretending to be one gender, wanting to live or be treated as if one is the other gender, or having a belief that one has emotions and reactions specific to the other gender. Sexual
identity disorder also involves a strong and persistent identification with the opposite sex.
It manifests itself with a desire to undergo surgery or another type of intervention. Some men desire testicles and
breasts. Some women have their breasts surgically removed because they see the breast as a symbol of the woman, but they do not want to change their genital area. Sexual Identity is a part of life, there are cultural and evolutionary reasons for this. Men and women
They become social individuals in different ways under the influence of culture in their lives (Eagly, Wood Johannesen-
Schmidt, 2004)
Especially in closed societies, many homosexuals hide their identities or
The main reasons for this are social pressure and exclusion, family pressure, problems at work
. However, homosexuality is not a choice but a natural impulse. Just as a man
does not force himself to like women and is naturally attracted to a woman, the same applies to a homosexual.
Many homosexual people are afraid of coming out to their parents and families. After sharing that they are gay, they feel fear because they do not know how their parents will respond and behave, and they may choose not to come out and risk the burden of living in secret.
We divide families into three groups: families who are afraid, those who have information. Families who have it and families who do not accept it.
1.Frightened families
Generally, parents who are afraid are the ones who do not know much about homosexuality. They may have a negative prejudice due to television and media, morality and culture. Homosexuality is thought to be a disease in the brain, and this was included in such books for a while. Or some theories are being considered, such as homosexuals being schizophrenic or AIDS carriers. The fears of the fearful parent usually arise from these
reasons:
-Feeling of shame towards the family and circle of friends
-If our child is made fun of
-Sadness that we will never have a grandchild
Our child the idea that they will live a bad and excluded life and even engage in prostitution for money. 2. Families with knowledge
Parents with knowledge can be more comfortable because they research and know about homosexuality. They may be surprised because they know their child
and are actually waiting for him/her to open up. Families who have knowledge may need some time after their children
come out, and there are families who accept it over time with the thought of "I want my child to be happy". 3. Families who do not accept and understand morality They find homosexuality wrong depending on your age. The children of the family who have such thoughts know it best, and the child actually knows the best way to open up. Families in this
group may sometimes show violence to their children again, and in the worst case scenario, they may say that they do not want to see them again.
In such cases, a safe place to come out to the family, where you will not be subjected to violent reactions
It is important that you choose.
The general reaction that occurs in families who learn that their child is gay is "mourning". The mourning process has 5 stages; They reject the truth, thinking that something cannot happen, that their children are lying or feeling wrong
.
Bargaining: The family thinks that this cannot be real and goes to psychologists, psychiatrists or teachers and looks for a way to change this
situation. Unfortunately, in this process, they are even abused and exploited by a person who claims to be able to cure it. Having run out of options and faced with the truth, the family understands that it has to accept the situation.
Anger: The acceptance process brings with it anger. The family blames themselves or feels angry about issues related to the child. In addition, a feeling of anger and rebellion against their children and the world arises within them.
Depression: a process that is actually protective, in which a series of reactions such as introversion and reluctance occur in family members who accept the truth.
. And after this depressive period, the family that confronts and accepts the reality makes an effort to adapt to its new life.
The process described above is a normal process. If family members get stuck in any of these processes,
various In addition to psychological problems, they continue to experience different problems with their children. For example, they reject this fact and move away from the child.
In such a process, the support of both the gay person and his family provides great
benefits in the process of acceptance and adaptation.
There are some things to consider when coming out to the family;
The first thing is to talk to your parents personally. You can open up by talking. Before opening, you can open by saying 'I will share something important with you' or 'What I am going to share with you is very important to me'. By using these
sentences, the feeling of no return can push you to open up more easily. You can alleviate that moment of shock by saying 'I like boys or girls' instead of 'I'm gay'.
Letter
You can easily explain your own feelings through a letter, in a nice way at your own pace. You can express your feelings. Another advantage of the letter is that no one can interrupt you and it gives you the chance to explain it from start to finish in a comfortable way.
Getting Support from Someone You Trust
Finally, you can open up more consciously by having a person you trust with you.
Lastly, to remind you of what needs to be known, homosexuality is not a disease or abnormality
but a natural and generally innate tendency. There is no cure. Only if
a homosexual person states that he does not want to stay away from this tendency and does not want to experience it, even if he does not change his sexual tendency, thanks to the support he will receive from a
psychologist, he can learn to control it and gain some skills not to turn towards people
of the same sex. This is a bit like learning to stay away from cigarettes or alcohol (that is, an addiction). The person still wants to drink alcohol or smoke, but he knows what he needs to do to stay away.
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