Sexual abuse is a traumatic experience that deeply affects the child. Unfortunately, child abuse occurs in the world. Therefore, it is very valuable to inform and educate our children on this subject. Child sexual abuse is when an adult uses a child for sexual pleasure. Touching or kissing the child's private parts, namely the chest, hips, genital area and lips, is sexual harassment. Showing a child to watch pornographic images, engaging in exhibitionism, or talking to a child in a sexual manner are also sexual abuse. Children can also be sexually abused by their peers.
How will I talk about this issue with my child?
No one can touch your chest, Make explanations such as: "He cannot touch your hips, butt, genital area (sexual organ, lips). For this, first of all, children need to define their bodies very well. They need to know the names of their organs very well. In short, the child should know the name of his sexual organ. Penis for male genital organ. Penis for female genital organ. It is called vagina. (Please use this sentence exactly)
Children understand their parents better with pictures. For example, this explanation can be made like this: "You are very precious to us, your body is also very valuable and valuable. Some parts of our bodies are special Now let's look at these private areas through pictures. Look, this is the penis/vagina. This is your private area. No one can touch this place. If someone touches it, you should say no, don't touch it. This is your right because this is your body. If you experience any touching that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me or your mother/father easily. As your parents, we have to protect you. If you are at school and you couldn't let me know, tell your teacher you trust about what happened, okay? ‘’
How will I describe the stranger to the child?
An explanation can be given to the child as follows. If a person says your name or says he knows you, but you don't know him, he is a stranger. If he/she behaves in a way that makes you uncomfortable, quickly run away from there by shouting and asking for help, and run towards someone you trust.
The person who commits sexual abuse can threaten the child: if you tell what happened, he will kill your mother and father. I kill. They may say this is a secret between us. In this case, it is necessary to make an explanation to the child as follows: "It is not appropriate to keep secrets that scare you. If an adult touches your private parts and tells you never to tell anyone about this, tell me easily, please do not keep secrets, okay? Are we agreed?"
In order for the child to be able to tell you when he/she is being abused, you must first have good communication with him/her. If the child thinks that his/her parents will not listen to me anyway, or if he/she is afraid of you in general, or if you punish the child even occasionally, then he/she may hesitate to tell you about the abuse he/she experienced. For this reason, it is very important that we have good communication with the child.
Children do not lie about abuse, they very rarely lie. Please believe if your child tells you about abuse. Sometimes you may find it difficult to believe in abuse coming from within the family, but in this case, never think that the child is dreaming and such a thing cannot happen. Unfortunately, it is very sad, but such situations can happen.
If your child tells you about such an incident, do not get angry at your child at that moment and wonder why you did not tell him about it before. Do not interrupt his speech, listen until the end. Express to the child that you will always be there for him after listening. And please include this: "Thank you for telling me what you were going through, I was proud of you." How can I know if this happens?
In this case, children's sleep is generally disturbed, they may become aggressive, they may experience sudden startles, they may persistently avoid seeing a relative, they may want you to come to school or they may start to want to walk with you on the way to school. In these situations, do not get angry with the child, ask questions calmly: "Has anything happened to upset you lately?" I would love for you to tell me.''
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