Discusses the feeling of emptiness that people who experienced emotional neglect in their childhood may encounter in adulthood. The book provides readers with tools to confront their own past, recognize their emotional needs, and assist in the self-healing process.
Neglect is a situation in which a child's physical or emotional needs are not adequately met. Neglected children often experience feelings of emptiness, insecurity, worthlessness, and other emotional problems in adulthood. The feeling of emptiness is the feeling that something is missing inside a person. This feeling may arise due to traumas in the past and emotional neglect. Therefore, traces of childhood neglect can trigger a person's sense of emptiness. To understand the reasons for this feeling, it is important to look at the emotional needs of neglected children.
Children have basic emotional needs such as love, affection, security and acceptance. When these needs are not adequately met, children may feel worthless, inadequate and lonely. This feeling can cause a person to feel inadequate in relationships, work life or other areas of his life. focuses on creation. In the examples in the book, the neglectful behaviors of parents can be listed as follows:
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Being emotionally busy: Parents are not able to pay enough attention to their children due to busy work life, housework or personal problems, not meeting their emotional needs. .
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Deprivation: Parents' inability to meet their material or emotional needs, their failure to meet their children's basic needs.
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Indifference: Parents' children not paying enough attention to their lives, ignoring their emotional needs. Situations such as deprivation can be given by a parent who cannot meet their basic needs. One of the key points to be stressed has to do with how parents respond to their children's emotional needs rather than their general behavior. So, every parent may have a particular parenting style, but what matters is how responsive the child's emotional needs are. Therefore, the book focuses on how parents respond to children's emotional needs, rather than parental types.
Some examples of neglect or emotional deprivation in children include:
<Feeling of emptiness: Feeling lonely, not understood, and worthless.
Lack of self-esteem: Decreased self-confidence and difficulty in self-confidence
Lack of self-confidence: Doubt about your own abilities, avoid taking risks, and have difficulty expressing yourself in social situations.
Anxiety: Intense worry, persistent anxiety, panic attacks, or physical symptoms (for example, heart palpitations, shortness of breath).
The book often presents the events experienced by children in the framework of cause-effect relationships and allows us to see the important thoughts. For example: An example is given about a boy named 'Zeke'. As a child, Zeke faced the indifference of his parents. His family did not devote enough time and energy to meet his needs. Zeke felt lonely because he was not given enough love, care and attention.
This neglect affected Zeke's emotional development during the growing up process. In the following years, Zeke had difficulty in opening himself up to others and had difficulties in establishing emotional bonds. In addition, he has low self-confidence and low self-esteem.
In the book, the example of Zeke is used to illustrate how childhood neglect can lead to emotional problems in adulthood. This example shows that neglecting the emotional needs of children can lead to problems such as feelings of emptiness, anxiety, depression in adulthood. highlights the. With many examples, it shows that the emotional neglect experienced by children affects their lives in many situations. When we grow up, we realize that wherever we have difficulties in relational sense, there is a neglect from childhood. While reading the book, we see that many people have experienced similar things, in fact, we are not alone in this journey of life. While reading the book, I had the opportunity to see and evaluate more clearly the difficulties I went through in my adulthood in line with the negligence I experienced during my childhood, as well as making a great contribution as a parent. It is not possible to evaluate all these and go back to the past, but seeing and interpreting events from the world of children contributes greatly to awareness. In short, as our ancestors said, 'You reap what you sow', if we adapt it for children, they reap what you sow when they become adults.
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