According to the 50 by 50 rule, which is widely accepted among marriage and sex therapists and supported by research, approximately fifty percent of marital problems arise from sexual problems, and approximately fifty percent of sexual problems arise from marital problems. Sometimes, a pre-existing sexual problem persists due to negative factors in the marriage (for example, the pre-existing premature ejaculation or vaginismus does not improve in a problematic marriage).
Sexual reluctance is one of the most common marital problems for both men and women. It is a multi-interacting disorder. Orgasm problems and erectile dysfunction that occur due to painful intercourse or fear of failure are other sexual dysfunctions commonly encountered in marriage.
Old reproaches and resentments, repressed anger, power struggle, loss of trust, not being taken seriously (you only want me in bed ), punishment, overprotection, addiction (mother-child relationship), postpartum problems, dislike of birth control methods, lack of attention to physical care, mother-son, father-daughter style communication and similar reasons are marriage factors that frequently interact with sexuality.
To give an example of the interaction above, sabotaging sexuality for the other spouse (consciously or unconsciously) may be the only victory achieved, especially if there is a dominant spouse in every aspect of the marriage. Sometimes, a single sentence you say to your partner without realizing it causes your partner to lose confidence and avoid sexuality due to fear of failure.
On another issue, sameness, monotony, excessive affection, frequent touching and excessive emotional contact reduce sexual desire. Uncertainty, excitement and fantasies can stimulate sexuality. It is important to remember Esther Perel's following sentence from time to time; “There is no democracy in bed”.
Solving all kinds of sexual problems in marriage is easy if there is cooperation with the spouse. If there is no cooperation, a few sessions of couple therapy would be appropriate first. In a good relationship, the solution to vaginismus, sexual reluctance, psychological erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and orgasm problems is much easier than you think. Communication training, sexual education and sexual therapy techniques are treated with very similar standards in all the best clinics in the world. Therefore, before the problems deepen, Before the respect and love ends, I recommend you to get support from a good marriage and sexual therapy specialist
Stay healthy and happy
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