Every individual, every child has a unique, different "window of tolerance". When we are within the window of tolerance, we are calm, emotionally balanced, ready to learn, play, show our talents and love and be loved.
When something triggers us, the child or the adolescent, they feel anxious or afraid, which pushes the individual out of the window of tolerance. When a child experiences mild or extreme distress, he or she may immediately be pushed out the window. When experiencing overstimulation, it rises to the "hyper-arousal" side above the tolerance window, or it remains at the lower level and falls below the tolerance window and experiences "hypo-arousal".
A child who has experienced trauma and loss has had a safe, balanced and healthy early childhood. It has a narrower tolerance window compared to the child. And the trigger(s) that push him/her outside the window of tolerance are different for each child. These are sometimes; an exam, sometimes a look, sometimes a blessing, sometimes a change in your life, etc. It could be something different. More importantly, small triggers every day can be unbearable and intolerable for traumatized children.
Triggers and stimuli are unique to each child. When a child is triggered, overstimulated, they go into fight or flight mode in the “hyper-stimulated” area. The child in this situation may appear anxious, anxious, aggressive, restless or controlling from the outside. But inside they feel anxious, unsafe, scared and confused. Body sensations change, heartbeat accelerates.
In the "hypo-stimulated" area; The child responds by freezing or collapsing. From the outside, they may appear to be withdrawn, silent, hard to reach, unemotional, inactive, unable to communicate and unable to learn, establish relationships, or be uninterested in what is happening outside. What is inside the child feels empty, dull, disconnected, dead, closed down, or numb. Body sensation changes, their heart rate decreases, and they may play dead as a survival strategy.
Traumatized children often cycle between hyper- and hypo-arousal. They can switch from hyper-stimulation to hypo-arousal for a short time within the tolerance window. Like other children, they may seem disorganized and unpredictable, but those children are alert. adaptable and adaptable. On the other hand, children who are between hypo-hyper stimulation; Fight, flight, freeze responses are designed to reduce feelings of fear. For this reason, children who have experienced trauma have a smaller tolerance window. It is necessary for children to be calm or warned to return to their tolerance window.
Our goal as parents is to notice whether your children are within or outside the tolerance window and how can we expand this window? If we think about it and know the child's story and early traumatic experiences (birth, medical problems, attachment, divorce, migration, etc.), we can get support from a specialist with trauma experience.
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