OUR "ORPHANTED" CHILDREN IN OUR SOCIETY
"If You Want Your Heart To Soften, Feed The Poor, Caress The Orphan's Head." (Ibn-I Hanbel)
Society does not always consist of the same individuals. We have elderly people in this society. We have women. We have patients and children. Most importantly, we have orphaned children. When we look at it from this perspective, it becomes clear that one segment is powerful, while the other segment is in need of help and attention. Acting on this fact, if we want to have a solid social structure, if we want to be a virtuous society, we need to take care of this weak group. Mobilizing for our children who are orphans (whose fathers have died) and who have been victimized for various reasons should be at the top of humanitarian duties.
We can consider our responsibilities towards orphans and orphans in two parts, materially and spiritually: Our material responsibilities are to protect the property and lives of orphans and orphans; Meeting their needs such as nutrition, clothing and shelter. Our spiritual responsibilities include every action that concerns the psychological development of the orphan. Demonstrating compassionate behavior, preparing a loving environment, taking care of education, providing religious information, instilling good morals, etc. It can be expressed as follows.
The pioneer of orphans was our Beloved Prophet. He had to grow up apart from both his father and mother at a young age. Throughout his life, our Prophet tried to take care of orphans and always be with them. Continuing his sunnah today is above all else.
EFFECTS OF DEATH ON CHILDREN
Death of loved ones is the most difficult and stressful experience in human life. For a child experiencing grief due to the loss of a parent, this experience can be even more difficult. Differences in the developmental period include differences in children's conceptual understanding of the meaning of death.
The appearance and consequences of grief in the child depend on witnessing the death event and the development of concepts about death. The behavior of an orphan or orphaned child depends on the gender of the deceased parent, whether the other parent has remarried, and other factors. a varies depending on the presence of siblings. The age at which the child becomes an orphan causes differences in reactions. If we consider the reactions according to age groups: Babies under two years old do not understand any concepts related to death. For young children, death means something as simple as someone who exists in everyday life no longer being there. Two- and two-and-a-half-year-old children's ideas about death are very vague. Before the age of 7, the consequences are not very severe. The child is young and can accept a replacement for the parent. Between the ages of 7 and 10, accepting loss becomes more difficult. The child's unhappiness is clearly visible. He wants to oppose the incident. As a result, symptoms of escaping reality and taking refuge in dreams may occur. After the age of 10, reactions are similar to those of adults.
BEHAVIOR OF THE ORPHAN CHILD
Losing the object of love, which has an important place in the child's life, brings with it emotional problems. What makes this situation even more complicated is the child's inability to understand the nature of death due to the fact that the child's ability to abstract has not yet developed. Therefore, care should be taken to avoid creating wrong impressions when explaining the information to the child. Explanations that the dead do not disappear but go to another world may give the child the belief that their parents will return. Explanations that everyone will die and that various factors may cause this (disease, accident, etc.) may create fear of death in the child.
The problem in children whose parents have died is two-fold, mental and emotional. The emotional reactions of the child vary depending on the level of development, their relationship with the deceased parent, the circumstances of the death, and the reaction of the family. Behavior and adaptation problems such as excessive crying, looking sad and unhappy, exuberance, regression behaviors, overeating, and fecal incontinence may be experienced.
Children experience two reactions to death: The thought of abandonment and the feeling of guilt.
Abandoned. The thought creates feelings of disharmony, loneliness and emptiness in the child. The child begins to question whether he and other family members will die. The feeling of guilt is more hidden or difficult to express. Constant punishment of the child There is concern that it will be removed. This situation may be accompanied by night fears and nightmares.
The biggest threat in losses experienced in the preschool period is; It is the intense anxiety that the child experiences about being abandoned, abandoned, and unloved. Feelings of abandonment and longing experienced during loss are natural parts of this process, and those who take care of the child should do their best in this process without hurting them.
GENDER OF THE DECEASED PARENT
The child's reactions may vary depending on the gender of the deceased parent. In cases where the parent of the same sex as the child dies, the feeling of guilt is more pronounced and depressive symptoms or defensive behavior disorders are frequently observed. Sexual identification problems may arise. If the deceased is the opposite sex parent, there is a constant dream of the deceased. If the parent is denigrated by the environment, the child becomes angry.
Parental remarriage is an important problem. It is very difficult for daughters to accept the stepmother, to accept her gaining the love of her father, and to tolerate her taking the mother's place. The stepfather is accepted more easily because he tries to correct the situation with maternal love. Still, boys' objections
Those who do not live in compassionate environments, away from the warmth of the family environment, feel lonely and their sense of hope cannot develop. The individual must feel safe in order to produce hormones and enzymes related to growth. The brains of people who do not feel safe reduce their ability to use defense mechanisms while producing hormones and enzymes that cause stress. If this situation lasts for a long time, growth hormone production is suppressed and children's development slows down. Sudden deaths may occur.
The increase in childhood depressions and the lack of compassion that causes sudden deaths should enable us to understand the mental state of the orphan. A loving look at the orphans, a smile, a few kind words and a pat on the head; These are vitally important behaviors as expressions of love. At the same time, showing compassion behavior makes the person feel good, and hormones and enzymes related to happiness are secreted in the person who does good. We can even say that showing compassion to an orphan is a meditative action, which has a double benefit.
I call out to our orphans and orphaned children. You will never be sad mein Because this society, we are your mother, your father. The civilization and religion we belong to contain many commandments regarding orphans. When you look at our Holy Book, we are faced with orders to protect and protect orphans in many places. As members of the society, we have to comply with these orders. We are obliged to protect our orphans and orphans. Keep your heart at peace…
Wishing you to spend joyful, happy and peaceful moments with your family in your loving home…
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