When children start primary school, it is an exciting and important experience for both children and their families. For many children, school; It is a brand new social environment where he/she will encounter many unknown children, full of rules to be followed and learning tasks to be accomplished. Accordingly, we may encounter a number of problems that are natural to experience, due to the feelings of insecurity and uncertainty that can be felt while adapting to every new situation. These problems; It can be seen as psychosomatic disorders such as not wanting to go to school, fear of school, irritable and angry behavior, nausea and dizziness.
Children's ability to adapt to new environments is quite high. However, this ability to adapt should not be hindered by the parents. It is natural that entering any new environment creates a certain level of anxiety in children as well as adults. However, if the family feels guilty about the child starting school or is worried about leaving the child at school, the child will also feel this. Children can easily perceive the non-verbal messages given by their parents. They understand the difference between parents from behaviors, facial expressions and tone of voice. This causes them to become more anxious.
If every child is given a choice, he will naturally want to stay with his family. However, the child is not at the stage of evaluating what is right for him/her. An important decision such as going to school should not be left to the child's immediate wishes. If the child feels that he/she will be taken out of school if he/she does not want to, and being offered alternative options on the days he/she does not want to go, will make it difficult for him/her to attend school regularly and adapt.
Parents should be aware that the child is not mentally ready for the concept of separation due to his/her age. He cannot perceive abstract expressions like "Just play for 1 hour, I'll come right away" or "I'll come in the afternoon" like an adult. He perceives it as "My mother left me, she doesn't come back, she won't come again" and experiences intense anxiety. For this reason, it will be beneficial for the mother to stay at school in the first days of the school adaptation process. For the child whose concept of time has not yet developed, talking in terms of activities can be useful, such as "I'll come and pick you up after lunch." Establishing clear sentences and keeping promises are very important in maintaining the sense of trust.
If the child feels the need to stay in the same class with the mother, the mother can keep books, magazines, etc. in a corner while he is playing. may read, avoid eye contact or any form of communication. It will be beneficial to continue working on distance and trust in this way over time. A child who feels that his mother is at school will feel more comfortable, participate in games, and trust his teacher and friends. A child who trusts his teacher will not worry about the absence of his mother over time, and will have a healthy socialization process by adapting to school and his friends.
Suggestions for Families about Adjusting to School
Before starting school, it is important to talk to the child about school, explain the activities he will do at school, and do school shopping together to gain awareness. This sharing will prepare him for school and motivate him to use the materials he loves.
Your child should have a good sleep in the morning. Sleeping hours are generally flexible in the summer months; However, since the time to get up in the morning is determined during school time, it will be useful to arrange the bedtime and wake-up time in accordance with the school before school starts. Finding it difficult to wake up early in the morning may also cause not wanting to go to school.
On the first day of school, the family should have a quiet breakfast and arrange a time to comfortably prepare for school. Preparing the bag and clothes together in the evening will also prevent the rush in the morning.
A routine should be established during school drop-off and pick-up times and this routine should be adhered to. Allowing the child to come to school will support him/her in the transition and adaptation.
In order for the child to have a comfortable adaptation period at school and to be happy there, the parents must first act comfortably, decisively and consistently in this regard.
Farewells should be kept short with necessary explanations and emotional scenes should be avoided. Make people feel that separations are natural and that they will come together again after separation. It is important to. Tell your child "See you soon", "I'm leaving" etc. Running away without explanations will make your child feel lost and abandoned.
If your child is crying and does not want to leave you, indicate that you do not accept the child's behavior such as "It's such a shame to cry, don't cry, you're grown up now, big children don't cry." sentences should not be used.
She should be made to feel understood, without blaming her for not wanting to be at school or making fun of her fear and tears.
For things that cannot be done at home, "If you don't do this, I will tell your teacher about you!" The school should not be used as a means of threat by saying sentences such as. This attitude will not only cause the child to be afraid of the teacher, but it is also an approach that undermines the authority of the parents.
Your child should feel that you appreciate him and how proud you are of him for starting school.
A significant illness or The child's attendance at school as long as there is no problem, that is, the absence of long periods of separation during the adaptation process, ensures that the process progresses without interruption.
The trust in the school and its teachers should also be felt by the child.
The teacher should ask for information about your child. Care should be taken to take it when he is not with you.
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