Comparison is basically a useless method we use to motivate the other person, and unfortunately it is a mistake that most people make a lot in daily life. Parents who compare their children to other people's children or even other siblings. Spouses who compare their spouses with someone else's spouse. Managers who compare their employees with another employee or with employees of a rival company.
So, how does being compared make people feel/think? There are two consequences of making comparisons;
Hidden harm
In this case, the person being compared may get really ambitious and surpass the person designated as his rival. So, what happens next? You show someone else as your rival, and he/she will surpass him. So it goes on like this. This may seem like a good method from the outside, but there is another side of the coin. A person may feel inadequacy if there is someone they are constantly trying to surpass and each time they achieve the goal, a new goal is set. That person's idea of success is no longer reaching the point he wants and dreams of, but simply surpassing someone else. This distorted thought spreads to every aspect of his life. He gets angry when someone passes him in traffic, he does not accept defeat when playing a game with someone, and in later stages this disturbs him so much that he may resort to dishonest methods and cheat to win.
Backfire
The person who is subjected to comparison thinks that I cannot surpass him or be better than him and gives up even trying. Or, if we think that he may feel angry at the person comparing him, he may not do the desired behavior out of spite. This behavior may cause anger and a feeling of inadequacy in the person, causing bigger problems in the future.
So what should be done?
Compare with yourself. Motivate them by showing examples of things they have achieved before. The solution is that simple...
As you can see, the smallest mistakes made at the age when personality develops can cause harm, even if they are well-intentioned. Especially parents have a lot to do at this point. Please raise your children consciously. Let's raise generations that care about reason, science and art. Stay well.
Read: 0
