Adolescence, one of the critical periods of life, is very difficult for some families. Especially “my family can't understand me.” In this period when emotional emotions are intense, needs such as the search for identity, physical changes, and closeness of friends also arise. So, is the adolescence process always turbulent?
“Who am I? What do I look like? Every adolescent who tries to find the answers to his questions has people around him that he takes as role models and internalizes them. Maybe when we see it in an adult, we can say "this behavior is a sign of a personality disorder", but for adolescents we can say it is "normal". “I wonder how people think about me?” There are also families who do not know what to do in the face of the inconsistent behavior of adolescents who are looking for an answer to the question. However, if adolescence is well supported by families, it can perhaps turn into the most beautiful process of life.
The conflict that individuals in this period, in which you can say that they are neither a full adult nor a full child, most often face is related to their choices. Maybe the teenager will be delighted to buy an outfit that is tasteless to the parent. If the parent intervenes by saying, "You don't understand, let me choose," they will be putting a barrier in front of their adolescent children, who will learn what is beautiful and ugly, right and wrong, through trial and error. The perception that "my choices are worthless" can also weaken the entrepreneurial aspect of the adolescent. Therefore, when it comes to choice, which is one of the most sensitive points in adolescence, “what do you think?” Which one do you prefer? Are you available?" By making children feel the importance of their choices with questions such as these, the family builds a strong bond and trust with its child. Mutual respect and love begin at this point.
The other important issue is adolescents' feelings of being "understood". “My family can understand me, so it's okay.” For example, a teenager who says this is quite at ease. "It is one of the biggest reasons for the outbursts of anger that many families encounter with their teenage children from time to time, as well as the feeling of not being understood." The greatest expectation of an adolescent who confides his problems to his family is not to feel lonely and guilty. Even if he is wrong, he will be able to understand it much better with the calmness and empathetic attitude of the other person. truck. Saying "you did wrong, you were going to do this" instead of saying "I understand you, you are very upset" will cause the adolescent to withdraw and will only enable him to defend himself against the other person.
Finally, is sharing positive emotions. It is not possible to expect a child who is criticized a lot to be good. The behavior of an adolescent who controls his brain by saying "I am not a good person at heart" will be shaped in accordance with this belief. However, it may be inevitable that the more you tell someone "you are good, you are good", the better it will be, and the more you say "you are bad, you are bad", the worse it will be...
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