The concept of
Self-confidence is the child's development of positive feelings towards himself. In other words, the concept of self-confidence is a broad concept related to situations such as the individual's self-love, being aware of what he can and cannot do, being at peace with himself, accepting himself as he is, and knowing himself well.
Self-Confidence
This period, which is one of the psychosocial development stages of the child, which is shown as the period when "basic confidence" is formed, starts with birth and continues until the age of one. Consistent, sufficient and continuous love and attention given during this period plays an important role in the formation of self-confidence. It is especially important for the baby to trust his mother or caregiver. The baby trusts his mother as he provides for her needs. If the mother is sufficiently interested in the needs of the baby, this situation; creates a feeling of “I am safe and I am valuable” by the baby. As we mentioned above, the feeling of trust is a stage that begins in infancy.
What are the signs of low self-confidence?
•Dependence on parents
• Shyness and introversion
• Reluctance to engage in new activities
• Having trouble mingling with other children
• Behaving shyly when confronted with new situations, having difficulty adapting
• acquiring a habit of looking down on oneself
> • Cannot protect her rights and defend herself in situations where she is expected to protect her rights
• Fearing and afraid of their parents despite being addicted
Every parent wants to do the best for their child, but some attitudes may cause negative perceptions in the child. For example, after telling your child "you can eat your own food", you should not intervene immediately when you spill it on yourself, "the whole meal is still not finished or you will eat like this, don't drink water first. If the child is frequently interfered with, such as, "Now, finish this, you have never eaten vegetables", if the leftovers on the plate are given to the child's mouth by the parents or they are tried to be fed: The message the child receives in this process; "I am not able to eat by myself. Unfortunately, the message that I am incompetent, incompetent, cannot do a job on my own is given to the child...
The second most common situation is when the child is wearing clothes. When complaining that your child cannot do personal chores on his own, first ask yourself if he has been given the opportunity to change his clothes. Let him wear his coat or shoes himself. Of course, although he cannot do it perfectly and completely like us, it will be beneficial for you to give him the opportunity to do it. Remember that raising a child takes patience and effort.
We should give importance to our child's age and provide opportunities and support for the work he can do. While completing a task, we should support our child and show the necessary patience and care. If the parents constantly hold his hand and do not allow him to walk by the cat, it will reinforce the child's sense of inadequacy. Of course, there is a possibility that the child may fall as a result of walking on a floor, but the most that can happen; There may be minor scratches. Allowing him to walk in an area with stairs can have dangerous consequences, such as head injury. The important thing here is to support it by considering the risks.
The child should be provided with a positive home life at home, where boundaries are clear and love is clearly expressed. The foundation of both academic and personal self-confidence is formed for the child who grows up in such an environment. Even if the child's work has not been successful, his efforts should be appreciated. Encouraging a child with words such as "I'm proud of you trying to learn", "I see you did your best for this job" by a child's parents will motivate the child to put in more effort, develop fighting power and create a positive self-perception.
What causes self-confidence problems?
One or both parents are over-expecting, overprotective and the child's feelings and judgments about himself, if it interferes with independence; it happens that they are incapable, incompetent and worthless.
Parents think that they are doing them a favor when they display an overprotective attitude in the work that the child will do, but they do everything themselves so that the child does not have any difficulties, as a result of the overly intrusive parental attitude, they become dependent on the parents, solve problems Children whose skills are not developed, who do not know what to do in the face of problems and who feel like fish out of water, in short, have not developed self-confidence.
Children who cannot gain a sense of self-confidence are passive in life, submissive in the face of events, over-adapted to be accepted in the environment, loneliness, being sensitive to criticism, insecurity, feeling of inferiority, feeling unloved and a sense of inadequacy.
How should we act for the development of self-confidence?
If you want your child to develop self-confidence, you need to have a realistic perspective about your child's competence. Every child is special to himself.
It is necessary to encourage and support the things that your child can or can do rather than what they cannot do. Also, do not keep your expectations from your child above his/her development level. Set goals that they can reach and support them in achieving these goals. Give them the kind of small responsibilities that they can do at home.
Most importantly, make them feel how valuable and special they are to you. and make him feel that you trust him that you are on his side and that you will be on the side of failures.
Pay attention to your child's feelings and thoughts. For example, when someone wants to talk to him/her and asks for his/her name, don't give directions like 'tell me your name, son/daughter'. Respect him when he doesn't want to talk. if he goes to school or when he goes anywhere, ask him if there are things that make him happy or sad during the day. Make him feel that you care.
Some self-destructive phrases that should not be said to children
Do a job properly; The message here is that you are nothing You cannot do anything, you are incompetent. In this case, the child cannot be an entrepreneur and behaves shyly about the things he will do.
I wish I had never given birth to you; Such words cause the child to perceive himself as an unloved and unwanted individual.
Act a bit like your brother/sister/ they don't make me sad at all. Comparing gives the child a sense of worthlessness and unloved.
You could do better; Recognizing children's efforts is extremely important here. Being result-oriented only increases the child's anxiety and sense of inadequacy.
Support your child's good and right behaviors, even if they are small, and make him feel how important it is.
I wish you and your child a togetherness full of love and hugs.
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