Anger, which is a natural emotion felt by all people to some extent and expressed appropriately, can become a cause of great harm to both the person and the environment if it gets out of control. If you have reached a situation that causes you to be excluded in your bilateral relations, marriage, business life, and friendships, if you cannot see anything at that moment, if you cannot control yourself and harm the people around you, yourself, and things, then you have an anger management problem. If you follow my suggestions and do the mental exercises at the end of the article, you can control and manage your anger.
Anger is one of the most basic emotions that a person experiences when his plans, wishes and needs are thwarted, when he is faced with injustice, when he is provoked or when he perceives a threat to his own self. It can be a contagious emotion, and the other person's anger can make it difficult for us to control. The most common way is to express these emotions by acting aggressively, such as yelling, getting angry, breaking things, hitting walls. Some experts define anger as short-term insanity. Those who have to live with these people, as well as those who experience anger, can also have difficult times. Nowadays, anger is often perceived as a destructive emotion. As in the proverbs, "He who rises with anger sits down with harm" or "A sharp jar of vinegar is harmful", anger is an emotion that, when used incorrectly, destroys relationships and invites failure in business life.
At Carnegie Mellon University and the University of California in the USA In the research conducted in , it was observed that the heart rate of these people who "expressed" their anger in a healthy way slowed down and their blood pressure decreased. Scientists emphasized that simply expressing the emotional state has a very important effect on the body's reaction to this situation.
Psychologist Brett Ford from the University of California said, “Natural anger makes it easier for us to achieve our goals, long-term It makes us happier and healthier in the long run. The secret to benefiting from the positive aspects of anger is knowing when, where, why and how we should get angry. To do this, learn how to use anger strategically by not letting it take control. It is not appropriate to try to suppress, deny and ignore this feeling in order to control anger. In order for anger to be experienced healthily and managed effectively, it must first be recognized, accepted, and understood why, how, and in what ways it arises.
The main triggers for anger are the feeling of being treated unfairly, being hindered, being ignored, inadequacy, helplessness, and humiliation. , loneliness and feeling of being pushed away. Anger is often accompanied by physical changes; such as an acceleration in heartbeat and an increase in the level of the adrenaline hormone... Our reaction to provocative factors varies from person to person; How angry we get and how we express this emotion is different for each person. While the emotion of anger is usually noticed, the other emotions that form the basis of this emotion are not noticed enough. When we can share and understand these emotions, which are the source of anger, we can manage it.
Many people think that it may be better to express anger outside rather than internalizing it, but scientific studies show that both expressing and suppressing anger are harmful to our health. In both cases, our blood adrenaline level increases and remains high for a long time. People with anger control disorders are 3 times more likely to suffer from cardiovascular diseases.
Suppressed anger can lead to depression, disrupt interpersonal relationships, and lead to mental and physical problems. Anger that is not expressed correctly can cause physical problems such as headaches, stomach disorders, skin problems, nervous system disorders, and circulatory problems.
The ability to express anger correctly is called "anger control". The main purpose here is; It is gaining the ability to express one's emotions in a way that is non-aggressive, non-violent, and does not harm oneself or the people around them.
So how to gain anger control?
1- In the first step You must gainawareness about your anger. Become conscious of the things that make you most angry and your reactions to anger. If you know the emotions that trigger anger, you can control yourself by changing your thoughts in those areas. You can manage to shift in another direction more easily.
2- When the first signal of anger comes, stop, take a deep and calm breath and as you exhale slowly, say "Calm, calmer". Relaxed, more relaxed, Say the suggestions "It's passing, it's passing". Imagine a place where you feel good and comfortable. This could be a seashore, a forest or a flower garden, imagine it, see what you see, hear what you hear and repeat the suggestions above with good feelings.
3- What does this feeling want to tell me, what does it mean, what does it mean? Think about it. If there is a feeling of frustration, disregard, inadequacy, helplessness, humiliation, loneliness, or rejection underlying the anger, confront them and try to unravel the language of emotions. The things that make you angry can help you get to know yourself. At a training meeting, my friend next to me, the man in the back row who was constantly interrupting the instructor, got angry every time he started talking, got distracted, stopped listening to the instructor, and huffed constantly. During a break in the training, I asked my friend, "What does the man behind remind you of and make you feel?" "It's the same attitude of my father," he said, "I don't listen to anyone, I interrupt, I occupy everything and I feel suffocated." Realizing the true meaning of the anger we feel helps you control it and improves you further.
4- Listening and communicating well is useful to reduce anger.
5- Breathing exercises for relaxation. and do muscle relaxation exercises.
6- Try to understand with empathic feelings instead of anger and aggression.
7- Prefer a positive outlook even in the worst situations.
8 - When you get angry, put a smile on your face even if you don't want to.
9- Try to get away from the angry environment for a while and calm down.
We cannot completely eliminate the feeling of anger, we may always encounter situations in life that we do not want, but our perspective on events is We can manage our destructive anger by changing your perspective.
Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy methods can help you find and solve the root of your anger.
Goodbye, wishing you to get rid of your feelings of resentment and rage soon and permanently.
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