Behavior disorder; It is a situation that consists of behaviors that negatively affect the individual and the family, in which the fundamental rights of other people are violated and social rules are disregarded.
• There are some criteria for a negative behavior in a child to be classified as a behavioral disorder.
These are;
1. Not appropriate for his age
2. Being dense
3. Continuous emergence
4. It is failure to comply with sexual role expectations.
The most common behavioral disorders are;
v Anger and aggression
v Stubbornness
v Lying
v Nail biting
v Hair pulling
v Bedwetting and fecal incontinence
v Eating disorder
v Sleep disorder
v Truancy
v Defiant
v Stealing
v It is abusive language.
So why do some children not have significant behavioral problems, while other children constantly create problems for their parents?
Once upon a time, an eagle landed on a woman's window in cold weather. The woman took the eagle in, cleaned it, cut off some of its wings to make it look more beautiful, filed its beak so that it would not sting, and cut its nails. The eagle now looks very clean and beautiful. However, the most important feature of eagles is their ability to fly and hunt. Unfortunately, the eagle, which could not fly properly when its wings were cut off and could not catch its prey because its nails were cut, could no longer continue its life independently.
Sometimes, as in this example, we can raise our children in a glass bowl in order to do them a favor. We may not give them the opportunity to meet their own needs or develop an autonomous personality. Children raised in this way can show behavioral problems.
To give an opposite example, let's say you have a child who does not want to go to school and therefore cries, and you do not send him to school so that he does not get upset every time he cries. This behavior (such as crying, holding on, being stubborn) becomes a habit after a while. It will become a cliché and your child will start to make you do whatever he wants by crying.
What should I pay attention to when raising my child?
• Be sure to reward your child's good behavior. These rewards do not have to be financial rewards. Saying well done, applauding and hugging are often much more effective in increasing good behavior than buying candy or chocolate.
• Avoid rewarding bad behavior. For example, your child is playing with his toys carefully and you are busy with your own work. Then your child threw or broke the toy and you went to him, talked to him, warned him or got angry. Your child will continue to do these bad behaviors just because you are around. Families who say their child behaves badly to get attention are exactly the example of this.
• When punishing bad behavior, avoid sentences that offend your child, including physical punishment, violence or psychological insults. Never generalize. For example, let's say your child gets on the couch and jumps. Saying that you are very naughty is a statement made against your child's personality. Instead, you should make a statement regarding the behavior. Jumping on the couch is not a good behavior.
• Communication between spouses and the parent's internal consistency ensure effectiveness in raising children. If one parent says yes to the child and the other says no, the child will learn to use the spaces. If you already have a child who runs to the other parent when one parent says no, you can easily see this mistake. The same parent's reactions to the same behavior at different times play a decisive role in the child's understanding of how right or wrong this behavior is.
How can you further increase good behavior in children?
How can you increase good behavior in children?
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BEHAVIOR CHANGE TECHNIQUES
• Apply active ignoring, that is, ignore the child's bad behavior while reinforcing good behavior.
• &nbs p; Follow grandma's rule, that is, offer the things she likes less as conditions for the things she likes more. If you finish your meal, you can eat chocolate, if you do your homework, you can watch a cartoon you like.
• Set a good example for your child. In particular, the person the child takes as a model is usually the mother at a young age, and then the parent of the same gender; Particular attention should be paid to their speech, attitude and behavior. For example, if the father tells his 7-year-old son that he needs to read a book and sends him to his room while he watches television, it will not be functional for the child at all. Likewise, if a parent who smokes constantly tells his child about the harms of smoking, this will not be realistic for the child. For children, what you do is more important than what you say.
• Apply the technique of accumulating points. Put different rewards for different points, for example, if you accumulate 10 points, we will go to an event you like at the weekend, if you accumulate 500 points, I will buy a bicycle, etc. You should set a score target according to the size of the reward, and when the child collects these points, he should reach his reward immediately. You may have daily, weekly and monthly goals. You should hang the scoreboard in a place where the child can see it frequently. If it is a younger child, he/she may use stars, stickers or beans etc. instead of points. You can also use any object it can count like. Like if you save 10 beans, I'll buy you...
• Make a behavioral contract. In this contract, the mutual expectations of the parents from the child and the child's parents should be written and both parties should sign the contract.
• Although the overcorrection technique is also used to change behavior, it creates problems when used continuously. p>
*You acted decisively and consistently with your child,
*You became a positive role model for the child,
*You gave appropriate responsibilities to the child,
*Not negative ,You rewarded positive behavior,
*You have normal parental attitude,
*Your communication with your spouse is clear and consistent,
*You used appropriate behavior change techniques.
* If your child still has behavioral disorders, seek help from an expert
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