THINGS TO CONSIDER DURING THE DIVORCE PROCESS
Divorce is an unpleasant and difficult process for both the couple and their children. In order to avoid confusion in children, this situation should be explained to the children by the parents when you have made the final decision to divorce. So, what are the points you should pay attention to in this process? If you have definitely decided to divorce, or if your spouse has definitely decided to divorce even if you do not want it, here are the points you need to pay attention to in order to ensure that your child is affected by the divorce process as little as possible:
1. First of all, children are the parents of their parents. They may blame themselves for the divorce. I was naughty, I upset them, that's why they broke up, etc. Therefore, it should be clearly explained that the reason for the divorce has nothing to do with the child and that it is due to the disagreement between the mother and father. It is important to emphasize that even if they live in separate homes, the mother and father will love their child as much as before.
2. The child should be informed about the changes that will occur in the lives of the mother, father and child after the divorce. During the divorce process, children should be informed about issues such as court, property sharing and alimony. If there are necessary changes that may occur during the divorce process, such as moving city or house, or changing a caregiver, try to make gradual transitions to these. Because for every change, your child should be given time to adapt. Whichever spouse the child will stay with after the divorce, he and the child should continue to live in the place where the family lived before the divorce, in order to ensure harmony.
3.In matters related to the child, the spouses They should not engage in conflicting behavior. A common path should be followed.
4.The spouses should meet together with their families (grandmother, uncle) to ensure that everyone is informed about the decisions taken regarding the child. In this way, everyone cooperates for the child. It happens, the awareness that the child will be affected by this situation and that everyone should be sensitive about this issue arises.
5.The spouse who will live apart from the child should gradually start to stay away from home. This process takes 5-6 days a week. day so that the child can adapt to separation more easily. After divorce, children should continue to have constant and regular contact with both spouses. He should have his own space in both houses. He got to know you together and wants you together, try to understand this and give him time to get used to your separation. Explain to your child that just because parents are separated from each other does not mean they are separated from their children. Get together frequently (Do not feel obliged to explain to anyone how you and your spouse get together).
6. Divorce is difficult for the spouses as well as for the child. Divorce should be seen as a beginning, not an end, and should remember that it is natural for psychological problems such as anger, loneliness, depression and anxiety to arise and that they should seek professional help if necessary. Spouses should see what they feel like. The quicker they recover, the more useful they will be to their children. A constantly crying mother will give the child the impression that the situation is bad, while a cheerful and trying mother will give the impression that everything is going well.
7.The child should not be the referee in any problem that may arise between the spouses. The child's consent should be obtained in decisions regarding the new order, but the child should not be crushed under the responsibility of decision-making.
8.The child should not use the divorce as a trump card against his/her environment. The child should not be given unnecessary concessions in every matter.
9.If one of the spouses has a new relationship after the divorce, it is healthier for the child not to know about it until the divorce is accepted. It should be considered natural and respected that the child does not want to replace his/her parents.
Read: 0
