Your limits determine your personality. At first, you may feel like the word "limit" is restricting you. This situation is quite normal. After all, the word border is a very broad concept. When we say border, you may think of the world map in its most general form. The borders of each country are sharply demarcated. Likewise, the map is arranged at a certain scale and shown within the boundaries appropriate to that measure. It is easy to show and explain concrete boundaries, but sometimes it can be extremely difficult to draw abstract boundaries. It's like setting our personal boundaries. Our personal boundaries are actually our areas of freedom. Even though we feel like the word "limit" restricts us, we can actually become free thanks to our personal boundaries.
We get our first experiences in life in our family life. We learn many concepts about the world here. The secure bond established between parent and child leads to the formation of a healthy self-awareness and makes the person feel valuable and important. Self-consciousness is the way you are perceived by the environment, thoughts about what you are and what you should be. Self-perception is your unique evaluation of self-consciousness.
In order to develop a positive self-perception, we must first know ourselves, accept ourselves as we are, be able to express ourselves, and establish healthy social relationships by being aware of ourselves. In order to protect our personal boundaries, it is useful to make a priority list. Accepting everyone's every offer or fulfilling everyone's wishes, just because you don't want to offend anyone, will not make you a more loved, more social and self-confident person. On the contrary, it makes you feel more tired, sad, and dependent on others. Your boundaries, which you sacrifice for the sake of being loved more, being respected, living in peace, and staying away from conflict, turn into your prison. When you can't say "no" you are not free. The strings of your life are in the hands of others. Everyone in your life is pulling you by your ropes and throwing you from place to place. You can't get anywhere anymore, nor do you have the strength to think about who you are and what you actually want.
Finding the ideal limit is very difficult. It is important. Boundaries are not strict rules and principles. It can't be the walls you build for others either. Your boundaries should be functional to make you healthy and happy, not unattainable. When rejecting someone, first make sure of your intentions. Are you turning down something you really don't want to do, are you acting like that because you want to annoy someone or put them in their place, or because you want to prove to yourself that you can reject people? Being aware of this distinction is very functional.
It is very important to be consistent in the promises you make to yourself and in the answers you give to those around you while setting your boundaries. If you happily accept a decision that you strongly oppose one day, the next day, the contradiction in your behavior may first damage your self-belief and then your consistent image in your social relationships. For this reason, it will be beneficial to crown your desire to protect the boundaries with your will power. Being persuadable shows that you cannot protect your limits.
"Freedom" does not mean being unlimited; On the contrary, it is about having clear and strong boundaries. In other words, you protect your freedom to the extent that you can say "no" to situations where you really don't want to say yes. Freedom and self-confidence not only improve your quality of life, but also repair your self-conflicts and conflicts in all areas, from your private relationships to your social relationships, from your business life to your home life. Because even when a person is in conflict with someone else, he is actually only fighting with himself. One of the basic ways to cope with the feeling of worthlessness is not to expect any approval from outside.
Excessive expectations are the main reason that pushes a person to unhappiness. This situation is everywhere; It is valid in business life, bilateral relations and social life. It is very valuable to be able to make your own decisions, good or bad, right or wrong, with your will and self-confidence. Self-confidence and willpower are two valuable factors that need to be worked on in terms of protecting the boundaries of existence and self, a healthy human psychology and the continuity of a quality life.
Therefore, knowing your limits liberates you. Rejecting people makes you feel unloved, undesirable. It doesn't turn you into someone. On the contrary, it shows that you are a principled and consistent person who knows yourself, has your priorities right, and saves you from your invisible but excessive burdens that wear you out.
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