Talat Parman, who says that adolescence is growth, change, transformation, metamorphosis, says in his book Adolescence or Hello Hüzün that adolescence is a period of melancholy and sadness because the child moves away from his past life, childhood and family with adolescence and adds; That's why adolescence is an honorable sadness.
With adolescence, the person, experience and environment that one moves away from are replaced by other people, experiences and environments. Of course, this situation cannot happen suddenly. This loss experienced by the child now raises a question for the adolescent individual that he will seek answers to throughout his life: Who am I? According to Talat Parman, this question is not an easily answered question for an adolescent who has passed from childhood (yesterday) to adolescence. The adolescent begins to look for an answer to the question "Who am I?" with the question "Where did I come from?" That's why, at the age of 9 (the beginning of the abstract processing period), the child asks his parents, "What kind of a baby was I when I was little?" What was I doing in kindergarten? He asks questions like "How did I behave when I was little?" The aim of the child here is to establish a bond with his past life, childhood and family, from which he has distanced himself, and to answer the question "Who am I?" through this bond. Parman will call this search the "Self-Dating Process" and will talk about two phases in this process: Protection against forgetfulness / Creating the world of future relationships based on Personal History. The teenager who entered the process of dating himself is now a historian's apprentice. The historians to whom he apprentices are, of course, his parents. They try to know, define and understand themselves with the history they received from their parents. An African proverb says about this; If you don't know where to go, remember where you came from. This is exactly the situation for an individual transitioning from childhood to adolescence.
Parman, D.W. Based on Winnicott's quote "Adolescence is an individual discovery", he defines adolescence as the discovery of the American Continent. Based on this definition, the chaotic adolescence between the ages of 12 and 15 can be interpreted as a Christopher Columbus metaphor, and the ongoing adolescence between the ages of 15 and 18 as an Amerigo Vespucci metaphor. In this metaphor, the Columbus period; The adolescent leaves the mainland for the first time, experiences storms in unfamiliar waters, misses his relatives where he left, and does not know exactly where to go. It can be described as a period in which The Vespucci period is; It is the period when he realizes and defines the existence of a new self and his ideas and future plans about this self are formed.
The behavior of moving away from the phenomena I mentioned above, which begins in adolescence, brings about another behavior in peer relationships, the behavior of getting closer. The concept of "closeness" is important in peer relationships. This concept forms the basis of adolescents' views and relationships with their peers. The concept of intimacy does not have to include sexual or physical contact. Intimacy refers to the emotional bond between two people. The most important approach on this subject is the work of Harry Stack Sullivan (1953) and Erik Erikson (1968) (Act; Steinberg, 2005).
The concept of closeness in adolescents falsifies the hypothesis that "Using the virtual environment to meet the need for socialization is an abnormal attitude." While the closeness expressed for adults requires physical contact, this may not be the case for adolescents. Then, reality for adolescents is "Virtual communication is one of the socialization tools for adolescents". Of course, there is a reason why adults make this hypothesis for adolescents. This is why; "Plasticity" is expressed as a feature of the human brain. Neuropsychologist Susan Greenfield from Oxford University emphasizes that an important feature of the brain is its adaptation to environmental changes, and that due to this feature, the brain will also adapt to this digital change. The interaction between the human brain and the environment is not one-way. While the brain creates technology, it also shapes certain human attitudes. This feature, called plasticity, loses its effect after the age of 23. Therefore, the practical use of technology between generations and the frequency of use vary in favor of new generations.
Then, the new generation perceives being online as a type, a component of socialization. When we look at what may be the psychological basis of using social networks, we talk about the effects of belonging and self-presentation. It is possible to set. The need to belong is seen as a justification for establishing and maintaining social relationships, and therefore for using social media. So, under what conditions should "Social Media Addiction", which is expressed as an abnormal condition in adolescents, be looked for? When evaluating an abnormal situation, several interrelated areas stand out. These areas are: Self-Confidence, Privacy and Empathy.
There is a thin line between self-confidence and narcissism. Exceeding this line varies depending on the amount of value offered to the adolescent. Excessive value placed on children and adolescents can lead to narcissism. As the child and/or adolescent gets to know himself and his qualifications through the excessive value presented, he will think that he is being subjected to a value he does not deserve, and in order to escape this guilt, he will adopt an aggressive, uncritical, neurotic personality structure. Social media, where adolescents meet their socialization needs in the 21st century, opens up space for this type of disorder.
To explain the hypothesis that social media creates space for a narcissistic and neurotic personality structure with a metaphor; Social media accounts can be compared to fiefdoms. The user (i.e. the adolescent) is the king of this fiefdom. Users can apply their judgments to the events developing within their social media accounts with a single sentence or behavior, just like the kings of the principality.
The power and lust of kings have no limits. They can kill countless people to protect this power and lust. Social media users, on the other hand, can remove anyone they judge from their accounts with a single click, regardless of their degree of closeness, that is, they can excommunicate or execute them from their (virtual) lives. If we define narcissism as the self isolated from the outside world, the narcissistic person cannot understand/perceive the outside world because the outside world is not 'me' and this creates fear in the person. The king becomes more and more destructive, more lonely and more cowardly. As a manifestation of narcissism, the more respectable the person believes he is, the more he will exhibit anti-social behavior. He will seek more social support than he deserves, and will become angry if he does not receive a "like" or a comment when he updates his status. They seek revenge on those who make negative comments. In a paradox, this brings with it other behaviors; It leads to easily accepting friendship offers from strangers, constantly updating your profile for interest, and sharing your own photos at every opportunity.
The area where paradox shows its destructive effects is privacy. Privacy is of great importance in adolescence. The formation of spiritual structure and individualization will occur with the development of privacy. It is possible to talk about two types of privacy that are related to each other: Physical Privacy - Spiritual Privacy.
Body and body privacy change rapidly and imperceptibly in the transition from childhood to adolescence. It is very difficult for the individual who is now an adolescent to accept this change. As of childhood, the individual has a self-image. However, the self-image cannot perceive or embrace the physical change that comes with adolescence. Thus, a difference occurs between the self and the body, which negatively affects the psychology of the individual. Talat Parman states that the adolescent follows this change through the mirror. According to Parman, during this period, the person struggles with his body and constantly observes his own body in front of the mirror, trying to make changes with his own hands against the necessary changes. The reason for this is that he does not want to give up his childish body. Childlike body; It is the dependency relationship established with familial images and obligations and the guarantee of unconditional acceptance for years to come. With the opportunities offered by technology to the people of this era, this pursuit is transferred from the mirror to the selfie. The use of technology is not limited to this. The adolescent, who is currently fighting with his body, now starts to spend the time he would spend in front of the mirror on photoshop programs, which are more unlimited and faster.
Selfie and Photoshop programs that have begun to be used instead of mirrors give the adolescent the upper hand in the fight with his body, making it difficult for him to regain his body image.
The main factor that creates spiritual privacy is the acquisition and keeping of secrets. Adolescents acquire secrets by memorizing the events and moments they experience during the day. The secret of these events It does not have to be important for another person to be evaluated in his/her position. The emotional state that the adolescent feels while experiencing the event is the factor that makes memorization a secret. This emotional state is transferred to a confidant or on paper, depending on the adolescent's interest and preference. Interpersonal preferences and boundaries will be formed through this. However, the most important gain of spiritual privacy is the value of being with oneself. In social media use, the content and frequency of sharing will inversely affect the value of being one's self. Self-confidence and privacy parameters are correlated with each other. Healthy developing privacy has a positive effect on the adolescent's self-confidence and the process of becoming an independent individual.
Another area that should be considered when using social media is empathy. Although empathy, which has been one of the basic needs of communication and sociality related to this communication since primitive people, is defined as emotional intuition, empathy (TDK) in the dictionary meaning, Rogers defines empathy as "the individual puts himself in the place of the other person and accurately perceives his feelings, thoughts, perceptions and feelings." "The process of understanding and conveying this situation to him/her".
In face-to-face social communication, the parties' display of facial expressions and behaviors that express emotion affects mutual feelings, what they express, and the understanding of what is said. At this point, one of the reasons for aggressive and intolerant behavior of people in the virtual environment is not being able to see people's faces, and therefore low empathy resulting from not being able to notice the facial expressions and behaviors that serve as a reference for understanding the emotional process.
Face to face, one of the important parameters of empathy in communication, began to gain importance in human relations long before social media entered human life. Messaging, which was added to communication tools with the advent of mobile phones, is where this change was first observed. In response to this observation, people have developed a method to meet their empathy needs. You can use punctuation marks on the keyboard consciously to create a specific gesture for messaging.
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