Anger is a basic emotion inherent in all humans. It is a reaction of a person to external threats. It is an emotion that emerges from the moment we are born. While it is seen as crying spells in babies, it is expressed in different ways in adults. While adults can control these emotions with some experiences and learning, this is more difficult for children.
When a situation occurs that they do not like, children can usually express their anger by crying, shouting, hitting, throwing things, and stamping. If anger involves a lot of aggression and violent actions, this is considered a non-abnormal behavior and the reasons for this behavior should be investigated. The frequency and intensity of anger behavior and whether it is socially normal or not are factors that affect whether anger is pathological or normal. Expression of anger through verbal or physical violence is considered pathological. When the child succumbs to the angry behavior of those around him and sees that what he says is done, he gains secondary gain and exhibits this behavior again as a learned behavior. Anger problems are also frequently seen in children who are exposed to family conflicts, neglect, and peer bullying. Reasons such as inconsistent behavior of the family towards the child, lack of clear boundaries and roles at home, not allowing the child to realize himself and be autonomous are also factors that directly affect the anger problem in the child. Not allowing the child to act in line with his or her own skills and tastes and exhibiting too much of an obstructive and oppressive attitude may make the child angry. Not meeting the child's psychological needs, reinforcing negative behavior, using physical or psychological violence against the child, and constantly getting angry instead of trying to understand are all things that will make the child angry. Many factors cause anger problems in the child, such as parents exhibiting angry behavior for any reason and the child witnesses this, being humiliated or humiliated by teachers, inconsistent discipline, lack of control, watching negative and violent content on television or the internet.
Some psychiatric disorders related to anger problems are: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD, mood disorders, anxiety disorder mental retardation.
WHAT SHOULD FAMILIES DO?
Parents should not respond to their child's anger behavior with anger. One should listen patiently and respond calmly. Don't give orders. Most importantly, in cases where you foresee that your child will show anger behavior, you can overcome this situation by speaking more suggestively before the tantrum begins, instead of arguing with your child and causing him to throw a tantrum. Another thing to do is to allow the child's aggression to be released while he is having a tantrum and not take any action to prevent it. When the child calms down, you can talk to him as an individual and find out what causes his anger. If there is a psychopathological problem that causes anger, medication use and psychotherapy are carried out simultaneously if the experts deem it appropriate. If there is no psychopathological disorder, anger problems can be solved with psychotherapy support alone. In this process, acting in cooperation with the child's teacher is among the recommendations to prepare a safer environment for angry children where they will not harm themselves. Trying to draw the child's attention to another direction during a tantrum may be a solution, but do not be insistent when doing this. Some of the permanent solutions for anger problems are; To develop empathy skills in angry children and to teach interpersonal relations and social skills. You can help your child acquire empathy skills by reading therapeutic fairy tales. Some things that are useful for angry children are art therapy or psychodrama. Artistic activities such as painting, music and theatre, or travel and sports activities can help the child express himself, improve his communication skills and gain self-confidence, thus calming him down and away from anger.
Talk to your child
In order to understand what causes anger in children, it is useful for parents to talk to their children frequently and ask how their day was and what they did at school. The child may have anger problems due to social problems. For example, not being able to establish healthy communication with the teacher, being exposed to peer bullying, being excluded at school or in other social areas, being bullied by family members. Many factors can affect your child's anger problem, such as constant criticism, conflict with siblings, inability to get along, feeling inadequate, lack of self-confidence and negative sense of self. The important thing is that parents are conscious and interested in this issue and try to understand what caused this.
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