What are the psychological problems that mothers complain about the most? Do these only happen to mothers?
The complaints of our mothers mostly focus on concerns about not being an adequate mother and the problems they experience in adapting to the changes that occur in their lives with becoming a mother. Moreover, in cases that reach the level of illness, the most common complaints we encounter are related to depression and anxiety disorders.
What are the concerns of mothers about not being an adequate mother? What advice would you give to these mothers?
Especially in the first days, concerns are mostly about baby care and nutrition. In later times, feelings about their babies' illnesses and feeling inadequate or guilty about them may prevail.
Especially with the influence of people around, abundant milk is expressed as an indicator of a healthy and strong motherhood, and a mother with relatively little milk feels It can make you feel incomplete and guilty. Because she may be criticized for not taking enough care of herself and not consuming the recommended foods, her milk supply is low. Sometimes the method of birth, especially caesarean section, can be criticized with the implication that it is "the choice of the weak mother" because she is resistant enough and cannot bear the pain. Sometimes, especially in first births, the more experienced people around the mother may exaggerate the few minor inexperiences the mother has regarding the baby and take over all the care of the baby and see the mother only as a source of milk. In this case, the mother, who is already sensitive and insecure about baby care in the first days, may lose her self-confidence and become dependent on others for the sake of the baby.
All of this may lead to the mother questioning herself over time, comparing herself with others, and especially Even if she has a baby with gas and sleep problems, it may cause her to see herself as responsible and blame herself.
In fact, the type of birth has nothing to do with strength or the ability to endure pain, and everyone's pain threshold is different; In the first days, most mothers have little milk, but milk increases with breastfeeding; In the early days, most mothers are novices in baby care. but that he would become more skilful over time; The best attention and care should be given to the baby by the mother herself, with support from her relatives; It should be kept in mind that fathers are the most important supporters of the mother and that the most appropriate approach is for the mother to first ask for help from them. In addition, it should be known that the baby's diseases are more related to the baby's own characteristics and sensitivities, rather than being directly related to the mother or the care given by the mother.
First of all, mothers must be fully convinced and believe in these, without criticizing themselves, They need to remind themselves how much they love their babies, without blaming them, and that love is essentially a criterion for being a good mother. On the other hand, there may be mothers who cannot feel enough love for their babies, in which case there are probably other complaints and this may be a sign of a mental illness, not bad motherhood, so I recommend that they seek help from a specialist.
Why are mental illnesses more common in mothers? Does it happen too often? Can this situation be prevented?
Mothers become more sensitive due to the effects of rapidly changing hormones, sleep and home arrangements after birth. Even if they would not be affected in normal times, what is experienced and said in the postpartum period can be quite hurtful to them.
Stressful situations may arise, especially if the mother cannot get enough support from her relatives regarding baby care, or if those close to her do not trust her enough and do all the procedures themselves.
In these situations, some mothers may become more angry and angry, which may be reflected in family relationships, leading to deterioration of relationships, especially with their spouses, and conflicts within the family. In some cases, even if the mother is very upset, she may not be able to react at all for fear of upsetting those around her and being left completely unsupported, and these accumulations may pave the way for other problems or mental illnesses that may arise in the future. Especially in a person who has previously suffered from depression and anxiety disorders, these factors can cause the disease to re-emerge.
Depression and Anxiety Disorders are the mental disorders we most frequently see in mothers. It can be seen both during pregnancy and after birth. Pregnancy or postpartum These diseases can also be seen in women who are not at risk, but the incidence of these diseases increases especially in the postpartum period. Because the postpartum period causes significant changes in the mother's body, in the relationships around her, in her living arrangements, and in her thoughts and expectations about herself and the future. If the mother does not receive enough support while adapting to these changes, a risky situation for diseases may arise, especially when insomnia and fatigue are added. Sometimes, even if all these reasons are not present, the disease may occur due to a genetic predisposition and the effect of changing hormones.
Of course, there are things that can be done to reduce the possibility of mental illnesses. We see that the support of relatives, especially the spouse, is very important in meeting the mother's need for sleep and time for herself. When the partner is supportive, the mother does not feel like she is a burden to others because they share the care of the baby and that she has to endure their negative attitudes. On the other hand, the support he receives from his spouse leads to closer relationships and more harmonious relationships within the family, with the trust and love felt in a spouse who helps him and understands his needs.
Of course, not everyone can find this support. Sometimes there may not be relatives living in the same city, and sometimes even if the spouse wants it very much, he cannot provide enough support because he works hard. In these cases, asking for support from time to time from other people who are close to the family and can support them, even if they are not relatives, can be a solution. In addition, even if the spouse works very hard, from time to time he can take care of the child even for a few hours and provide the mother with the opportunity to have special times only for herself.
Although it is possible to achieve all these, sometimes mental complaints can reach the level of a disease and can occur alone. These supports may not be sufficient. In such cases, the mother must be evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist. A disease left untreated can lead to negative situations for both the mother and her environment. The mother's lack of treatment also negatively affects the baby's mental and physical health and those around her. Waiting is not beneficial for either the mother or the baby. It is not a choice. Mothers should not decide on their own regarding treatment choice, they should share their situation with their spouses and people they trust and seek help. Healthcare professionals working in the field of maternal mental health will offer and assist with the most appropriate option for both the mother and her baby.
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