Emre was 8 years old. She did not enjoy going to school very much and she was tiring her mother every morning when she got out of bed.
-Mom would sometimes miss the service time so that I could sleep a little more, and sometimes she would forcefully catch up with the service.
All of a sudden. Homework brought home after school was more of his mother's nightmare than Emre. Finding a lot of homework given by the teacher, Emre completed some of them under the pressure of his mother, and wanted his mother to complete the rest. Despite his mother's disapproval, Emre thought, "Anyway, my mother will do my homework," and she didn't worry much about her homework.
How does a child think? ?
Responsibility awareness does not start with homework. For the awareness of homework, first of all, a sense of responsibility is necessary. Most parents think that duties and responsibilities start with school life and act accordingly. However, it should not be forgotten that when the child turns 3, he enters a process where he can clearly understand and apply the rules. And as the age progresses, the rules are determined according to age. The younger age group should be given younger responsibilities, and the older age group should be given greater responsibilities. For preschool children;
– You will collect your toys when you distribute them.
-- When it's time to sleep, you will go to bed.
– You have one choice when we go to the grocery store.
– When we go to the park, we will come back home when our time is up.
– It's your job to put the bread on the table at dinner. Planned and consistent rules, etc., form the basis of responsibility.
In the story, Emre is a child who doesn't get up on time in the mornings and avoids completing his homework and throws this task on his mother.
According to Emre, the teacher gives too much homework and therefore does not like doing homework. It has become a learned behavior for the child to do some of the homework with his mother and his mother to complete the rest. That's why Emre thinks "Doing homework is not only my duty, but also my mother's duty".
Emre's This way of thinking paves the way for him to turn into an adult who has difficulty in completing the task given alone in his later life and has self-confidence problems. It continues its existence by reaching the end and this situation negatively affects all of its life.
However, children who grow up in a world where there are rules, place intellectual, emotional and cultural values and knowledge in their memory. This is a critical and important acquisition in terms of personality development.
What can you do?
• Where there is chaos, there are no rules. If you don't want chaos in your home, set your boundaries clearly.
• After setting your limits, ask yourself how determined and consistent you can be. If you have any doubts at this point, try starting small.
• What could these small steps be? Give your child small tasks first, rather than having them do homework. Each individual must fulfill his own responsibility. If parents have duties as parents, the child also has duties as individuals. Just as we make our beds and rooms, take a shower, prepare our meals when we become adults, this order should start in our childhood, not when we grow up. Remember, the greatest harm will begin at the point where you can't stand your child.
• Do not think that you are late, no matter your child's age. Every individual who is not an adult is a dough ready to be kneaded. Only the younger the age, the more enriched the values you will add and gain. It is around 1-2%. This small rate causes the child to see you as a teacher and to move away from your identity as a mother� It causes deep damage to the body. Let everyone do their own thing. Let a mother be a mother, and a teacher is a teacher. Just as you cannot say to your child's teacher, "Be my son's mother for today," with your mother identity, so your teacher identity can say to the mother, "Be a teacher for me today. Teach your children these and complete their homework. This role confusion causes communication problems with the child, be careful.
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