1. How would you describe yourself?
Humanist, idealist, determined, forward-thinking
2- Today, psychology is a professional field that is rapidly gaining value. . Therefore, the number of psychology graduates is also increasing. What characteristics should psychologist candidates have?
One does not become a psychologist, one is born a psychologist. High emotional intelligence, which is a measure that determines the empathy ability that enables self-recognition, control and motivation, putting oneself in other people's shoes, and enables purposeful socialization, is important for those who provide services in the field of mental health.
It is also important to have versatile scientific knowledge from biological, sociological and psychological fields that enable understanding personality development.
Finally, patience, creativity and most importantly, a sense of curiosity. You are not going on a journey, but the worlds are coming to you, you must be an explorer.
4-How does our subconscious, what we experienced in the past, in childhood, in the family, affect our lives?
The unconscious is a source of energy. It is a much more powerful energy source and a living storage center than we can imagine. It is a region where our emotions and thoughts are manufactured, stored and suppressed. Thoughts and desires that culture and society have taught us to suppress; Our past traumas and painful emotions are stored in our unconscious.
Everything we suppress in our active thought is in our unconscious. Our prejudices originate from our unconscious. Many behaviors that we do not want but continue to exhibit today originate from our unconscious. Many roles that we do not want today but continue as habits from the past originate from our subconscious.
What happens to the client during the therapy process is that the emotions that want to come out are freed from pressure. Once the client's past subconscious, that is, his old generation blind, myopic brain, is given a command in therapy, other unremembered experiences also emerge.
3- ' You may frequently encounter questions such as "What exactly does therapy do? Are there definitive results?" Therapies are truly functional Does he/she sleep?
Each client comes to therapy with his/her own 'swamp'. Above this swamp are the symptoms, problems, troubles that they want to be resolved during the therapy process, that is, their 'flies' on their own swamp, which also form their expectations from the therapy process.
The target in the therapy process is; It's not about repelling flies, it's about drying the swamp. Because flies cannot reproduce in a drying swamp. In other words, the goal is to capture the deep reason that creates that apparent reason, rather than the apparent reason that the client brings to therapy. Most of the time, the problems that our clients bring to meetings and think are the cause of many negativities are actually the result of a deeper cause.
This is the reason we awaken our clients to. When you wake up to that reason, therapies become functional. Because "In order to operate on a person's body, it is necessary to put them to sleep, and in order to operate on a person's soul, it is necessary to wake them up."
5-To what extent can you apply the suggestions you give to your clients in your own life?
We do not make suggestions to our clients, we bring them to the point where they can make suggestions for themselves. In fact, it is like this: the therapy process opens the door, our clients walk the path themselves. We do not embrace them and leave them where they will go.
6-You provide marriage and family counseling. Has interest in marriage decreased today? There has been an explosion in divorces in recent years. What do you think are the reasons?
The research should start by examining the reasons for divorce statistically. Depending on these researches, we see that both the marriage rate and the divorce rate are decreasing.
According to the data announced by the Turkish Statistical Institute (TUIK), last year there were 594 thousand 493 marriages and 126 thousand 164 marriages. divorce took place. The number of marriages decreased by 1.41 percent and the number of divorces decreased by 4.30 percent compared to the previous year. We see that last year, approximately 97 percent of divorces were recorded as "incompatibility". This is followed by abandonment, cheating, mental illness, maltreatment, dishonor and other reasons.
8- Have we become afraid of marriage or living alone? consciously r choice?
Actually, we are not afraid of marriage; We carry our unconscious fears and anxieties stemming from our past experiences to the deep and real bond we have established/will establish with our partner. Of course, these negative emotions either damage or prevent us from creating that deep bond. Our parents' relationship model, the way we are affected by their attitudes towards relationships, our philosophy of life, social myths about sexuality and marriage, that is, common misconceptions about relationships. Each of them affects our feelings and thoughts about marriage. Those who are aware of all these things make conscious choices about living alone or being in the marriage system.
9- Without getting married How important is it to see a therapist first? Do men and women behave differently when it comes to receiving therapy?
There is no genetic code that governs marriage. Marriage is a cultural formation that has been accepted by biology. Before entering into this cultural formation, we recommend our clients to receive premarital counseling in order to get to know ourselves on the issues mentioned above. What I often tell my clients in interviews is: "It is not necessary to find the right person, but to be the right person for yourself first." In other words, before taking the step into marriage, we ensure that the person gets to know himself/herself about the meaning he attributes to marriage, his ideal future, his ideal relationship, how it is good for him to love and be loved, etc.
Women and men about receiving therapy. Contrary to what is known in society, I did not observe any different behavior between them.
10- Can the secret of happy togetherness really be formulated? What can you say about this as a marriage therapist?
Both couples living together need to put aside the situation of seeing themselves as the focus of the universe. Instead of trying to repair themselves in the relationship, they should heal each other's wounds by accepting each other as equal individuals. When couples sacrifice their individual egocentrism, the relationship itself becomes the center. And the relationship you repair together heals you, too. In other words, the love that couples give to each other reaches their own wounds and heals them. bees also heal.
11-Has the perspective on psychologists and therapists changed in Turkey?
With the recent awareness and the number of psychology departments increasing every year, the belief that you have to be 'crazy' to go to a psychologist is slowly decreasing. Question marks such as 'Why go to a psychologist?', 'How do I know if I need to go to a psychologist?', 'What does a psychologist do?', and confusion between the concepts of psychiatrist and psychologist sometimes affect the process of participation in therapy. However, psychological support is the best gift you can give yourself. Smart people come to therapy, crazy people wander the streets.
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