Stress factors are now almost in place in our lives and the inability of people to cope with these stress situations has begun to affect us negatively both socially and individually. We cannot control and change many negative events that occur in life. But we can control our own reactions and moods in the face of stress factors. In this article, it is aimed to give information to the reader about the ability to cope with stress.
When people experience a negative event in life, they react differently to this situation. These responses can be divided into mature and immature responses. We can define mature responses as constructive responses of a person in the face of any stress. For example, when you get a bad grade in the exam, instead of having a crying crisis, getting upset at a more optimal level and reacting as "This is not the end of my life, I am not the only person with a bad grade in the world, I will focus on the next exams" is a mature response to stress. We can define immature reactions as the destructive reactions of the person in the face of any stress. For example, severe depression of someone who has been fired, or taking action such as drinking alcohol, eating excessively, driving fast, staying home are negative and destructive reactions to stress. The basis of negative and destructive reactions is the deterioration of the functionality of the person, the harm of the current situation to the person and causing a mental depression. Try to scan in your mind how you react to stress in the past or present. Are your reactions to stress mature-constructive or immature destructive reactions? Why does the stressful situation I experience happen to me? In fact, almost everyone experiences stress factors and similar situations, but the person's feeling as if he is experiencing this stressful situation affects his reaction to stress negatively. The thought of "This situation can happen to anyone, I'm sure I'm not the only one in the world." It will turn your reactions to the work in a much more positive direction.
How to Gain the Skill to Cope with Stress?
1- One of the common characteristics of people who can react positively to stress is the negative experience they experience. the ability to put situations into a joke. For example, the state of being able to put it into a joke and laugh instead of getting angry, getting angry, thinking that I am disgraced when you fall on the ground. For the person who can turn stressful situations into a joke or even a mocking situation, the annoying events become much smaller in the mind of the person and allow him to feel the feeling of overcoming. It is a long-term questioning attempt. We often experience stressful situations in life, and questioning each one at length weakens one's resilience to stress. For example, the questioning of someone who has been fired for weeks or months such as "Why was I fired, where did I go wrong, what was my fault, what did I miss?" causes the effects of the negative event to be more permanent on the person. If we want to be resilient in the face of stress, we must keep looking ahead, avoiding long-term questioning.
3- For many people, pain is an emotion that should not be experienced. But being in life means experiencing every emotion. The vast majority of people make an effort to avoid negative emotions, and they always want to continue with positive emotions and feelings. This system of thinking causes people to feel weak in the face of stress. People's thought that "I didn't just come into life to be happy or feel good, I'm in life, so I will feel negative emotions as well as positive emotions" makes them much stronger in the face of stress. People who often try to feel good and put a lot of effort into it have a low tolerance for negative events. It is seen that people who have internalized that it is normal to experience every emotion give more constructive reactions to negative events. It should not be forgotten that every pain also includes development. Therefore, the stressful situations we experience in life actually lead us to a more mature structure.
4- Having a purpose in life and being It is seen that people who live in line with their hunger are stronger in the face of stress. People who do not have a long-term goal, and those who live daily, are much more affected by stress. For this reason, one of the ways to increase the ability to cope with stress is to achieve permanent goals in life. For example, saying "I will achieve a successful career in life" is a long-term goal and the person is aware of the fact that he will face many negativities on the way to this goal.
5- Having a regular life style leads to a less stressful life. It allows you to have events and to be more resistant to stress. Every person has their own way of life and order. Meeting all the human needs of the person on a regular basis protects the person against pain spiritually. For example, sleeping and waking up at certain times, eating and drinking at certain times, resting and socializing on certain days or hours. Having a regular life style strengthens the person spiritually and allows him to react more constructively to stressful situations.
6- The human relations we are in are one of the important factors that determine the frequency of our encounters with stress. If the person's family relationships, social relationships, and business relationships are shaped in a negative way, this means that the person will face more stress. Facing more stress reduces one's resilience to stress. For this reason, ending or limiting negatively shaped relationships allows the person to experience less stress in his life. Contrary to bad relationships, good relationships increase one's strength in the face of stress and enable them to respond constructively, not destructively. As human beings, we are all social beings, so being in good relations is among the important factors that shape our lives and our spiritual structure in a positive way.
The Ability to Cope with Stress with Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is recommended for people who often face stress in their daily life and have difficulties in coping with stress situations. With the special working techniques to be applied by the psychologist, the person can improve his/her ability to cope with stress. It can be earned in three. It is important for the client to apply working techniques according to the needs of the client who comes to therapy. Sometimes one of the obstacles to one's ability to cope with stress is due to past traumas. As a person's trauma is healed, his ability to cope with stress increases. The therapist, after receiving the detailed history of the client who came to psychotherapy, determines the working techniques with the client's approval and applies them in the process. The duration of psychotherapy varies from client to client. With the advancing age, the psychotherapy process may take longer, but in some cases it may take a short time. Therefore, psychotherapy is personal and its duration differs from person to person.
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