We are in a period of social isolation with family members in order to protect ourselves from the coronavirus epidemic. Stating that the stress, anxiety, distress and uncertainty caused by the epidemic process can turn us into a tense and even intolerant person in this process, Sociologist and Family Consultant Kimya Çifçi Dumlu offered his suggestions on how to keep family communication strong during this period.
All In this process where we enter the social isolation process with our family members in order to protect ourselves from the coronavirus epidemic that affects the world and our country, negative emotions such as the stress caused by uncertainty, the distress of not being able to leave the house, and the anxiety about when the process will end, make us become a tense and even intolerant person in this process. It may have transformed it.
Individuals who have difficulty in controlling their anger and have started to have difficulties in communication can do this. But you should know that this negative emotional state is completely normal and temporary. Only your ability to manage the situation well will help you get through this difficult process easily.
Failure to manage the crises that may occur during the social isolation period may cause your healthy family structure to turn into an unhealthy family structure and even result in divorce.
Currently; If you are wondering, 'What is our family structure like?', how about taking a look at your family structure?
Unhealthy families generally;
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Contact , is not clear because it is closed, indirect and vague.
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Family members feel anger and resentment towards each other.
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They resolve the conflicts between them. It is difficult.
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The resentment of family members lasts for days.
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There is a lack of empathy.
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Family members do not approach each other with compassion and do not show mercy.
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In unhealthy families, there are no friendly relations between family members and this is easily felt from the outside.
During the social isolation period, you realized that you have an unhealthy family structure and I can almost hear you asking what to do now.
There are two ways in front of you;
Or give up and divorce.. .
Or making an effort to turn your unhealthy family structure into a healthy family structure...
If we pay attention to just a few important points; In these days when we fit our lives into our homes, we can protect our family as well as our physical health.
At this point, we are reminded of how valuable correct and effective communication is. You can turn the crisis moment into an opportunity and prevent possible crises in the family in advance with a few points that I recommend for effective and accurate communication. For this;
Communicate openly and directly
Instead of waiting for your family members to understand what you want, what you expect, and the situations that make you sad or happy, be clear and understandable. Express it in one language. Be careful to use 'I LANGUAGE' when expressing. For example; I think you are not taking your responsibility in housework and I want you to help me more.
Do not communicate one-sidedly
Do not only tell your family members your own wishes and expectations, Listen carefully to the messages conveyed by family members. Make sure you correctly understand the message conveyed to you. If you think you misunderstood; If I understand you correctly...? What do you mean here...? Reflect your thoughts on points you do not understand by using expressions such as.
Avoid rude speech
Family members should never speak to each other using hurtful, rude or abusive words. In addition, name-calling, sarcastic and unpleasant speech also has a negative impact. For example, you should not say anything to family members that you would not say to your best friend. Body language and words should be consistent when talking to family members. Communication must be continued wholeheartedly.
Not prolonging resentment
Prolonging resentment and resentment negatively affects all members of the family. Try to improve your conflict resolution skills, this will protect the mental health of your family. If you are wrong, you should not see apologizing as a matter of pride or as a humiliating act.
Appreciating
Everyone is on the side of their family. He/she wants to feel approved, accepted and appreciated. This is one of the most natural needs not only of children but also of adults. However, in unhealthy family structures, instead of expressing the appreciation and admiration family members feel for each other, there are sentences containing contempt and disdain. Do not hesitate to tell your family members that you are proud of them, that you appreciate their success, and that you support their dreams.
Withholding love
No matter how old your family members are, make them feel your love and Don't hesitate to express your love, touch and embrace them with love. The energy of a loving touch has the power to heal many wounds.
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