As a Healthy Adult (Healthy Adult Mode), I called all my children to 5 o'clock tea. They came without breaking me, thank you. We sat down at the table and I asked them if they remember their situation one by one. After all, there is a responsibility that comes with being an adult.
My Impulsive side (Impulsive Child Mode), which has difficulty in sitting at the table, immediately started talking like a spoiled child. “What is there to talk about? I don't like such conversations. You're forcibly keeping me here, you said come, here I am,” she said. As if muting my impulsive side, a voice came from Angry Boy (Angry Boy Mode): “I hate spoiled, selfish people like this. Every single one of them is driving me crazy. Then the pumpkin explodes on my head again because I got angry.” He grumbled.
The Hurt Child side of me (Injured/Injured Child Mode) wandered through his own thoughts as if oblivious to the conversation at the table. It was clear that he had gone through something that was troubling him. The fact that he was constantly sad and melancholic only increased the anger of the Furious. Angry did not like it at all, he even hated those who exploited feelings like this. According to him, it was the work of the poor to grieve. He was strong, he never showed his sadness, he even showered his opponent with anger. He used to think that I would be upset.
But I knew (Healthy Mode). As angry as she was at the Hurt, she was just as upset as he was. Angry she was spreading anger, just as she was spreading the sadness that had accumulated inside her when the volcano erupted. Maybe this gave him a little relief, but he wasn't happy either.
My impulsive side was busy eating whatever was on the table. She said that these conversations are not for me. She had intended to satisfy her own emotional hunger in her own spiritual realm. Because she had always preferred to be blind and deaf to those feelings. His only concern was to find something to numb him to the point where he could act without thinking and not feel the pain. I know well that he was one of those who escaped his pain only by escaping. leaving sadness aside, Angry and Impulsive would immediately join forces. Like a brother trying to protect his brothers, Angry rages, Impulse Together with el's indiscretion, the two of them would set fire to the fire.
Fortunately, when we started to get very bored, my Happy Child side (Happy Child Mode) jumped right in. “Let go of the sadness, the anger. Life is beautiful, let's dance and have fun,” he said. Happy's words made the hurt even more sad. She thought she wouldn't be as happy as he was. While her pessimism was increasing, it could be seen that she was very jealous of Happy.
The angry, on the other hand, threw an envious glance at Happy while getting even more angry at those who stole her happiness from her hand in the face of Happy's joy. If he is impulsive, he must have felt his own hunger for happiness in front of Happy, because he was busy eating like nothing else on the table. Didn't he always do that anyway? Whenever he was bored with something, wouldn't he immediately seek bodily pleasure? He did so again.
If he was happy, he was stunned by all that he saw. He didn't do anything to anyone, he just said let's dance. What could be wrong with that? Then, before things got even worse, I had to step in as a Healthy Adult. They told about their feelings, I listened. Each emotion was a manifestation of unmet needs. When their Emotional Needs are not met; Hurt, he was in a whirlpool of sadness, Furious was raging with anger, and Impulsive was acting without thinking and always causing trouble. Yes, I found the solution to the problem: They needed to share their feelings and wishes in the appropriate language. For this, I helped them to develop alternative thoughts and behaviors. Feeling understood for the first time, the happiness in these children increased. Now there were 4 happy Children at the table. And they were happily getting ready to play.
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