As long as life continues, the need for communication will continue. The important thing when communicating is to be effective. It is necessary to make sure that we express ourselves correctly. We know that it is possible to express something we want to say with different sentences and words. If the person we communicate with is a child, then the power of words becomes even more meaningful. If you want your child to overcome obstacles and face difficulties in his life, the first step is to establish good communication. In this blog, we will review what your child feels in your daily life. Does your child really understand what you are trying to say? How does he feel about what you say?
Anger Crises
Children often have tantrums when they don't get their way. Especially if this tantrum happens outside, wow!
The situation most often encountered is as follows; The child cries and may throw himself on the ground because he is not getting what he wants. The parent whose child is crying on the ground is disturbed by people's looks and approaches the child in a way that no one can hear, saying, "Get up, everyone is looking at us, if you cry any more, you will be slapped, I don't care, cry, I won't." So, how does the child feel in the face of this communication that you think is correct?
The moment the child loses control of his/her anger, he/she becomes afraid and is not in a position to hear you. Your child, whom you drag along on the ground with the thought of what other people will think, may remain silent because he or she becomes stiff from stress. Your child needs you to calm the emotional explosion he is experiencing. He feels worthless with the sentences you say, and all he needs at that moment is for you to hug him, reassure him and calm him down. Your child, whom you hug with love, secretes the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that helps the child calm down and manage his emotions.
The best way to show that you accept your children's feelings while rejecting their requests. Saying "No, no going to the park before dinner" will cause your child to become jealous inside. Instead, take an approach similar to ''You're right, it's sad for you not to be able to go to the park before dinner, but we can prepare a meal together now if you want'', It teaches your child to express his feelings and also helps you justify his wishes.
Remember, your child has the right to show his anger. While not going to the park is not even an event for you, it causes disappointment in his world. In order for your child to learn to feel his anger, express it, and thus learn to express his disappointment, you should not avoid his anger.
Giving responsibility instead of blaming
When children behave in an undesirable manner, we usually say ' We react with 'no' or 'don't'. However, they like to feel smart as they learn new things through their actions.
The reaction usually given to a child playing with the door handle while driving is "don't play with the door handle". Instead, saying "What can you do to keep the door closed?" can work wonders. In response to the question, the child activates the front part of his brain and sometimes finds solutions that will surprise even you.
Give instructions instead of prohibiting
Prohibitions are attractive to people of all ages, and will eventually be broken. For example, we prohibit the child we do not want to step on the grass as follows; "No stepping on the grass". It would be more functional to give instructions instead; "Walk on the stones, play in the sand".
Every child has an attention span according to his age. Considering their attention span, it may be necessary to remind them of the instructions from time to time. When you give instructions, your child feels freer.
It is possible to diversify the examples given above. Expecting children to think and act like adults is one of our biggest mistakes. If you want to learn how to behave in the face of your child's problematic behavior, you can get help from a psychologist. Every new information you learn will be ingrained in your child's soul.
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