Many parents agree that the child should be given information about gender and reproduction, but very few parents know how this information should be given to the child. For this reason, most parents prefer to remain silent rather than talk about this issue with their child. Some mothers avoid bringing up the subject because they are not trained on this subject and they cannot figure out what to tell their children. However, it is perfectly natural for the child to need to learn about gender-related issues, to be curious about sexual issues, and to ask questions to satisfy his curiosity.
Having concerns or fears about the child's sexual development, not being able to explain these to his family or a relative, and not having anyone to consult on this issue creates many problems for the child. For example; Sudden onset of menstruation by a young girl who was not warned about menstruation, a teenager who thinks there is an abnormality in his genital organ not being able to tell his problem to a specialist, a teenager who is not informed about the child's formation being ridiculed by his friends, all of which hinder the child's emotional and social development and create unhappiness and disappointment in him/her.
The child should be able to ask questions to his mother and father and get answers to his questions about gender, as in every subject. With the help of these answers, the child will have information about his body, health and sexual development, and thus, he will be equipped with accurate information in a healthy way and will be able to get rid of his worries and fears. The mother or father will notice the child's uneasiness thanks to the questions he asks, try to reassure him through information, and in cases where he cannot reassure him, he will ensure that he receives help from the relevant medical specialist, psychologist or pedagogue.
“Should sexual education be given to the child by the mother or the father? by?” is one of the questions that troubles the minds of some parents. Generally, the best dialogue about gender is established between mother and daughter, father and son.
The more important the role of the family in sexual education, the more important the time (timing) of this education is. There is no age or period. Information can be given to the child at any time he/she is interested in the subject, as long as the information given is appropriate to the child's development and maturity level. n. While answering the child's questions, one should not be satisfied with a few sloppy words, one should not try to satisfy the child's curiosity with a few words, care should be taken to make the explanation in a simple language and clearly, and the child should be able to understand the event and satisfy his curiosity.
This education should be done in a timely manner, Just as it is harmful if it contains details that are not appropriate to the maturity level, it is equally harmful if it is not done on time. The child should not be warned ahead of time, and the child should not be presented with information that he is not yet ready to understand. Giving explanations to the child that he has not yet asked or wondered about is not educating him, but confusing his mind and making him uneasy. However, not giving the child who has reached a certain age the information he needs, leaves him uninformed about sexual development, makes him feel behind and incompetent than his peers, and makes him anxious and timid.
As in every field, ignorance about sexuality, It causes many psychological problems. It is known that gender-related problems lie at the root of many problems such as not being able to adopt the role appropriate to one's gender, not being able to be a girl-boy friendship, not being able to manage husband-wife relationships, not being able to regulate mother-child, father-child relationships.
During the pre-school period, the young child discovers his body. Not raising awareness about the difference between boys and girls and not informing the mother and father that their anatomical structures are different may cause anxiety. If these questions of young children are not answered in a timely and appropriate manner, the child will first experience anxiety, fear and distrust. Information about gender should be given to the child as soon as he discovers his body and his own genitals. Some information should be given when the child is on the eve of a certain developmental stage, before the child enters that stage. Every child should be informed about the changes that will occur in his body during adolescence, while he is still in his childhood or on the eve of puberty.
Just as a child who constantly asks questions about gender makes his family uneasy, a child who does not ask any questions on this subject also becomes equally uneasy. . A child who does not ask questions is not a child who is not interested in the subject. A child who does not ask questions is either a timid child or is rejected by his family. He is an intimidated child, or a timid child who is afraid of his family's reactions. A suitable opportunity should be sought to give this child the necessary information, and in the meantime, it should be investigated why he cannot discuss this issue with his family, it should be investigated whether the child has obtained information from any source, his deficiencies should be completed, and his mistakes should be corrected.
The child's most valuable toy from the moment he is born. is his own body. Starting from the first months, the child moves his hands and feet, turns his head, puts his finger in his mouth, and watches his fingers. Around the age of one, the child explores different parts of his body, watches himself in the mirror, and plays with different organs. Around the age of two or three, the child escapes from his mother's hands while being dressed and undressed, refuses to dress, walks around naked, touches his belly, and plays with his genitals. During this time when he is discovering his own body, it is seen that he enjoys touching his mother's breast, enjoys watching his naked father, and when he meets a child of the opposite sex, he watches his genitals with astonishment. At this age, the child begins to be interested in his own gender and the opposite gender. If walking around naked is not prevented and if the child is not taught that nakedness is shameful, the child will maintain this natural state for a while and will not hesitate to dress and undress in public.
On the one hand, children ask their mothers questions about gender, on the other hand, families ask experts about their children's sexual development. they ask. Among these questions, masturbation seems to have a very important place. “Is it a sign of abnormality if my child masturbates?” Questions such as these are questions that reflect mothers' uneasiness on this issue.
It is perfectly natural for a young child to play with his genital organ, to stimulate himself, to enjoy it, to react when prevented, and to repeat this behavior despite the warnings of the environment. According to experts, although masturbation is more common in men, it is a behavior frequently seen in both girls and boys. The child who discovers his genital organ begins to play with it, realizes that he enjoys it as he plays, and repeats this action as he enjoys it. It is observed that this movement sometimes lasts for a very short time, sometimes for a long time, and the child sweats and becomes out of breath. � It is seen that the child sometimes performs this movement when he is alone in his room, sometimes when he is with family members or friends, and repeats it while playing, watching television, or listening to stories. A child who masturbates should not be scolded, intimidated, threatened, or punished for this behavior. The mother or father should not make the child aware of their anxiety or anger on this issue, should not reflect their anxiety on the child, should not make the child feel that they have done something bad or shameful, and should not constantly warn the child not to do this. If the child is young, the family should ignore this, direct the child's attention elsewhere, occupy his mind and hands with attractive activities, and participate in his games. If the child is older, the mother or father should talk about masturbation with the child and give him/her the necessary explanations. According to research findings, masturbation is more common in minors who seek attention, think they are neglected, and are disappointed.
Nudity is an issue that families think about as much as masturbation. There is no theory that recommends or prohibits going naked in front of the child. The choice of one of these behaviors depends on the principles of the family, the education the family has received, and the understanding of shame, prohibition, and sin in the family. Those who advocate the benefits of going naked claim that they make children aware of gender differences at a young age and break the prohibitions and taboos regarding gender; Those who think that walking around naked is harmful argue that warning the child about sex early is not healthy and scares the child. Meanwhile, the appropriate behavior is for each family to choose and maintain the model that suits their own moral and educational understanding.
CHILDREN'S SEXUAL QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
- What is this?
For boys: “This is your penis. Just as our vision organ is the eye and our hearing organ is the ear, the penis is your sexual (reproductive) organ. "The reproductive organ of girls is called the vagina." “The sex organs of boys consist of penis and testicles. “The testicles sit under the penis and are bag-shaped.” “There are two round organs inside the testicles that will produce sperm when you grow up. . The penis is thin and long. It's just like a finger. “The penis is also an organ that enables urination.” “The penis (when you grow) allows the sperm produced in the testicles to come out.”
For girls: “This is your sexual (reproductive) organ. This is called vagina. "The sex organ of boys is called the penis." “As far as we can see from the outside, the vagina is attached to the girls' body, but it continues inward. That's why it doesn't look like boys'." “These organs, which extend from the inside to the abdomen, are just like the stomach, lungs or intestines. Just as these organs cannot be seen, the inner part of the vagina is also invisible. “These organs are in a structure that will help raise your child when you grow up and protect it until birth, and will allow the baby to come out when the time comes.” “There are two egg-producing places in the body. However, these eggs are too small for us to see. When you grow up, this will start producing eggs. When you grow up, these eggs will allow you to have a child if you decide.”
Recommendations: Do not give your child all this information at once. Each paragraph should be spoken in an age-appropriate manner when the child asks more detailed questions. Do not hesitate to use the terms penis, vagina and egg when giving information to your child. It would be beneficial for him to become acquainted with and know the correct terms from now on, even though the terms may seem foreign to him... Gender and reproductive organs can be called by different names in different places. Therefore, it is useful for your child to learn scientific names from the very beginning. Another benefit of this is that you will feel more comfortable saying these names.
- How does the baby enter the womb?
“In the father's body The sperm produced in the testicles go on a journey with the help of the penis, and one of them unites with the egg cell in the mother's body. “As a result of this union, the baby is formed and begins to grow.” “There are more sperm (millions) in your father's body than you can imagine. After these sperm leave the father's body, they start running quickly to reach the egg in the mother. Of course, the healthiest and fastest runner reaches the egg first.”
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