You buy gifts for your spouse, but isn't he happy?
You express that you love him/her
but does he not react as you expect?
Don't you like it when your lover constantly hugs you and holds your hand?
The reason for these questions may be that your 'love language' is different from your partner's.
If you do not understand your partner's first love language, the transfer of emotions in your relationship will not be healthy and problems may arise in a short time.
>It is important to have mutual love in your relationship, but what is more important is that love is expressed correctly and your partner perceives it correctly.
Feeling loved is the primary emotional need of a person. There are five basic love languages identified as a result of research. You may think that you have expressed your love to your partner/spouse sufficiently, but the message may not always reach its destination. If he indirectly complains to you about being unloved or lacking attention, it means you are not using the same love language. Every person can express their love and value in different ways, but it is very important for your relationship to know which language your partner uses.
There are five love languages, which are; words of approval, qualified togetherness, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical contact.
The first love language is 'Words of Approval'..
If your partner uses this language, he expects you to verbally express your love and feelings towards him. Even if the person is sure of his partner's feelings, he wants to hear it as if he approves of it and expresses his own love in the same way. These people attach great importance to being appreciated, receiving compliments, and expressing their love in sentences.
For example, saying sentences like 'you are very beautiful today', 'you are a very good father', 'I love you', 'I miss you' are just the sentences that can make her feel loved. some. The goal of love is not to get something desired, but to do something for the happiness of the loved one.
The second love language is 'Qualified Togetherness';
Although they are understood as the same, 'Qualified togetherness' is different from 'Words of Approval'. Words of affirmation focus on what has been said, while nit The spoken conversation is focused on what is heard.
The "togetherness" that is in question here is not about sitting together and watching a movie. The togetherness mentioned here is that your interest, attention and all your perception is directed towards your partner.
So, for example, , dinner alone together, Sunday walks together, evening conversations, etc. In addition, maintaining eye contact while speaking, not being preoccupied with anything else while listening, paying attention to revealing emotions, observing body language and not interrupting the speaker are also important in this love language. These are some of the points that need to be shown.
You should make your partner feel that your interest and focus is only on him/her. The point you should pay attention to is to do such activities alone.
Our third love language is 'Receiving gifts'..
For some individuals, Small gifts and surprises have many meanings. Gifts are visual expressions of love and this love language is the easiest love language to learn. Symbols carry emotional value for them.
The materiality of the gifts mentioned here is important, gifts show that the person is valued. and shows that 'it is not forgotten, it is remembered'. Of course, this does not mean that you buy a gift every day, thinking about it once every ten days or once a month will be enough to make your partner happy.
Small gifts such as a flower or a shirt or a small object you made with your hands. You can show that you are thinking about him/her even when he/she is not with you.
The fourth love language is 'Service behaviors'..
What is mentioned here is 'Service behaviors'. ` It involves pleasing the person by helping him/her.
For example, you can express your love to these individuals with small help such as setting the table while your spouse is cooking, standing next to your spouse to refresh his tea while he is doing his job, and taking care of the children together. Here, you can express your love to your partner by saying ` The message "You are valuable to me and I do not want you to get tired alone" is given. These services should never be forced, they should be done freely and as desired. The important thing here is that it should be a behavior that your partner wants and that makes them happy.
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The last love language is 'Physical Contact'..
Physical contact is the clearest way to express your love or anger towards your partner and is one of the most used love languages. .
For example, a small kiss or a slap on the face. Individuals whose love language is 'physical contact' do not feel loved without physical contact. If your partner uses this love language, he/she will frequently hold his/her hand, make small touches and hugs. Be careful. Leaning on his shoulder may be an indication of your trust in him.
If you are having a sexual relationship, you should try to make it satisfactory for both parties. Sexuality is a basic tool for the satisfaction of needs such as basic love, attention, care, protection, closeness and acceptance by others, and increasing self-esteem. Physical touch as a gesture of love reaches deep into our being. As mentioned above, it is a powerful and frequently used language of communication, from the slightest touch on the shoulder to a passionate union.
Remember that each individual's love language is different and if If you have not correctly defined your partner's love language, this may lead to misunderstandings.
For example, a woman whose love language is words of affirmation may constantly say 'I love you' / 'I miss you' to her partner to express her love. He uses expressions like. In this case, if the man's love language is to receive gifts and gifts, he does not say such words to his wife and the woman does not realize that she is loved. Or, conversely, if the woman constantly expresses love to her husband but ignores the gifts and gifts, the same situation will be the case for the man.
In summary, it is very important to learn your spouse's love language.
So how can I learn the love language of my spouse/partner?
This question The answer is actually quite simple. Observe your partner and try to understand what he likes. If you are very confused, you can try these love languages one by one from time to time and feel which one makes you happier. If you cannot get an answer from your partner with 'physical contact', move to the second plan, that is, make an effort to speak your partner's love language.
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