The decision to divorce is a decision that should be taken very carefully. I recommend you to read my article titled "Should I get a divorce" that I wrote before? Remember that the risk of divorce is higher in second marriages. Make sure you do whatever can be done.
1-Confront your own emotions before, during and after the divorce. Try to stay centered and balanced. Increase your contact with sports, nature and friends. Don't be emotional and get dragged into a "war" that doesn't suit your needs. Anger, reproach, resentment and guilt are bound to happen, so be sure to get help to deal with them. Guilt, in particular, is a toxic emotion, and people who feel guilty lose many of their assets through subconscious processes. The cost of anger can also be very heavy: many people who forget that the legal process has started may face major problems (restraining order. Trial of heavy fines, etc.)
2-After coping with the emotions mentioned above, try to get a consensual divorce if possible and avoid conflicts that may cause financial losses. do not extend it. Many studies show that financial losses due to contentious divorce are a very important negative factor in most post-divorce problems.
3-Divorce child-oriented; In other words, the child should stay with whomever he is attached to, and the other parent should support him from outside in a stable manner. Create solutions according to the age, capacity and mental state of the children and get support on this issue. Educate your extended family (parents, etc.) and even caregivers about this. If children are not left in the middle, if they are not involved in matters related to their parents, and if they receive sufficient attention consistently, they become completely healthy individuals. Never burden children with your own emotions.
4-It is very important to be informed about issues related to second marriages, stepmotherhood / fatherhood, etc. For these reasons, divorce counseling is sometimes necessary intermittently for many years.
5-Be sure to get divorce counseling before, during and after the divorce. Recommendations from lawyers, parents, siblings or friends are often far from objective. Everyone will benefit from divorce counselling. With a good divorce, both you and your child Problems that may occur in the future will be minimized.
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