The feeling of guilt is perhaps one of the most challenging and hurtful emotions for human beings. For example, in cases of severe depression, intense feelings of guilt are observed, along with other depression symptoms. The person is quite touchy, overly thoughtful, pessimistic, hopeless and obsessive...
The feeling of guilt comes to the fore in personality structures dominated by an overly strict and judgmental superego and on an overly critical psychological basis against oneself, and creates severe distress. In such personality structures, which exhibit extremely harsh and judgmental attitudes towards themselves in conscientious and moral terms, the individual is extremely strict and extremely cruel towards himself.
The individual's self-blame stems from the fact that he thinks that he has made mistakes against others in his life and cannot forgive himself for this situation... There is a harsh and inflexible attitude towards the individual. And it is not anyone else who can forgive himself, but himself.
What is important here is the individual's "belief that he has done wrong." His personal accusations are not the main issue. He thinks that they are seriously offended or hurt by him and that they have ruined the lives of others, and he sincerely believes that he has caused harm, and as a result he feels terrible. And if the other party accuses him, rightly or unjustly, this situation crushes the person who feels guilty even more.
Even if there is no negativity that has happened in reality, even if there is an event that cannot be filled with a fig, it is a source of great sadness for the person and he feels guilty to death. He thinks that the people who are dealing with the issue will never forgive him. He is guilty until the end and he will be punished. He must suffer..
Because essentially, he is the very person who cannot forgive himself and feels very bad about himself. He cannot obsessively let go of the event that triggered his tendency to blame, cannot forget what happened and move on.
Sometimes there is no event that actually happened, and life in general, all of his relationships, past experiences, past conversations make him feel guilty.
He has destroyed everything and everyone, his children, his wife, his family, his job, in everything. is unsuccessful and hopeless, does not die He may even want to. He cannot go the way of forgiving himself, the person's belief that he deserves punishment is very intense, and he punishes himself.
He approaches himself in a ruthless and strict manner. He struggles with intense troubles every day, and gets tired of fighting against himself. If obsessive thoughts accompany the situation, the situation becomes even worse. When severe OCD symptoms lead the person into depression, feelings of guilt together with obsessions make life even worse. It makes the person unbearable.
Whenever a person makes even a mistake that would be considered ordinary, the same cycle repeats. He cannot forget his mistake for a long time and his self-blame becomes intense and he feels very bad.
In severe and severe cases such as major depression. In situations where suicidal ideas are intense, feelings of guilt are much more severe and distressing. If you have a personality structure that makes you feel very guilty from time to time and your life becomes difficult because of this, you should get help to find out where this heavy, judgmental and critical structure comes from.
Again, when you look at yourself, you see that you have problems with self-confidence and seek the approval of others. It may be a problem if you realize that you cannot feel good and cannot make your own choices without taking it. He/she may develop anger towards others and then a deep sense of guilt.
Being unable to get negative words and thoughts out of one's mind, not being able to forgive oneself for what happened, tending to be constantly depressed, and becoming worried easily. Individuals who always need to be in control, who try to stay in balance by constantly controlling events and people, and by subconsciously reflecting the negative emotions and thoughts that they cannot control in their inner world, can easily feel guilty when they are depressed.
Under normal circumstances, it is a serious mistake committed by a person. If there is, the person takes responsibility for his mistake; if he has caused serious harm, he may naturally feel guilty, but he apologizes, tries to compensate and repair, and this disturbing guilt He moves away from his feelings and removes the event from his life.
It has a dramatic course in people with an overly self-blaming and critical nature, personality disorders, or people with normal personality traits but suffering from depression.
The exact opposite of this situation is seen in Antisocial personality disorders. These people have almost no developed conscience and moral and human values. Since these people do not have characteristics such as pity or compassion in their nature, they never feel guilty even if they cause serious damage to the property or life of others... Just as the damage caused by anti-social structures is unacceptable, an excessive self-blaming structure is also A person who is extremely harshly judgmental towards others, ignores self-love, respect and self-values, and cannot love himself needs help and support...
Clinical Psychologist
Dr.Derya MÜFTÜOĞLU
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