Every person has some aspects of themselves that they want to change. The person especially wants to change the aspects that negatively affect himself, his life and his environment. Many people come out of the process of this change with unsuccessful results. The change usually occurs for a short time and then the person returns to the previous point. At this point, there are generally opinions arguing that change is very difficult, almost impossible. Sayings such as "A person is the same at 70 as he is at 7" also defend how difficult or impossible it is to change. Can a person really change himself or is change completely impossible?
Changing is a difficult process, but it is not impossible. Many factors can be mentioned that affect change. Among these, personality structure, family structure, environment, positive or negative life events, biological factors, etc. countable. For example, while aggression increases in male adolescents due to high testosterone hormone levels, aggression also decreases with the decrease in testosterone hormone in middle-aged and older men. As the secretion decreases, people begin to act more cautiously and take less risks. Especially personality structure and family structure are very important. A child who is constantly suppressed, oppressed, and invisible by his family is likely to become introverted in the future, and change in this direction will not be easy. A person may have difficulty changing his introverted nature. For this reason, while change may be possible in some areas, it may also be difficult in some areas, as in the example just given. This depends mostly on the area to be changed. For example, if you want to change your eating pattern, you are more likely to do so. However, you are less likely to change your angry side or your antisocial side. The reason for this is that the personality structure is formed this way. Therefore, changing personality and character is not easy, but it is not impossible either. Harvard University psychology Daniel Gilbert, one of his sons, conducted research on whether people's tastes, characters and personalities would change. In this research, Daniel Gilbert tested the people he included in the research with surveys conducted 10 years before and after. As a result of the research, it has been scientifically proven that people can change over time. There are also changes in the person that develop slowly depending on time in the literature, but there are situations that accelerate this change considerably. For example, a person who has been exposed to a negative life event such as an earthquake may experience a panic attack and experience this fear for a very long time, so part of the change depends on the conditions in which the person lives.
Why is it difficult to change?
There are a number of factors that make change particularly difficult in some areas. Among these are the person's personality structure, character structure, and temperament. Personality is the presence and continuity of similar characteristics in a person's life, and the presence of a certain style in behavior, feelings and thoughts. The character matures step by step from childhood to adulthood, so it is more established, more solid, and has a more unchangeable character. In short, it presents continuous, consistent and stereotyped features. Temperament is the genetic material a person inherits from birth. Change is difficult in some areas because all these factors affecting the person are rigid, that is, established basic characteristics. Pay attention to yourself or the people around you, especially when you say you will not do stereotypical behavior again, you will show the same behavior again after a while. Likewise, you may have observed similar statements and behaviors from the people around you. Especially the aspects related to personality, character and temperament are very difficult to change. For example, if an emotional person becomes more rigid, it is not an easy change that a person can make because emotionality, like anger, is a basic structure that is established in the person. Being open to learning or not also affects change. People who are open to learning, can adapt to new environments more easily, try different experiences and are open to innovation have things they want to change in themselves. It is more likely that they will change their direction. However, people who are not open to learning and closed to innovations are less likely to change the aspects of themselves that they want to change, and this attempt usually ends in failure. For this and these reasons, change is often not easy, on the contrary, difficult.
How Do People Change?
Everyone wants to change their behaviors and habits that they do not want or like. There are people who can do this and those who cannot. So, how does a person who can change change and get rid of unwanted behaviors and habits? It will not be enough to attribute the answers to these questions to a single reason, so a few factors affecting the change should be mentioned. In order to change, you must first realize it. "I need to change because behaving this way is harming me" or "This habit of mine is harming me, so I need to get rid of this habit that is harming me". Awareness is the primary step to change. If you don't realize that the aspects you want to change need to change, you won't need to change. After awareness comes, the second step should be to ask the question "How can I do this?" For example, if you have an alcohol addiction, you can list alternatives. Staying away from alcoholic environments, getting psychotherapy, getting alcohol treatment, staying away from people who use alcohol, trying to replace your bad habit with a more functional habit, etc. The list should always be extended; having more alternatives makes it easier to change. Every behavior has an underlying reason. Our behavior is a reflection of our personality. That's why the question "what did I do and why am I doing it?" should be asked frequently. Alcohol addiction is generally seen in people who cannot cope with stress. If you have a habit of drinking alcohol and the reason for this situation is that you cannot cope with the stress, this issue should be worked on. Increasing your capacity to cope with stress by receiving psychotherapy will enable change much faster. If you often get angry and want to change this aspect, you need to determine why and in what situations your anger arises. mektir. The reason for this may be hidden in childhood traumas, or parents may be taken as role models. The reasons can always be multifaceted. That's why it's so important to find the root cause. Psychotherapy uses very up-to-date techniques in this regard and provides change by working on the reasons and dynamics of behaviors that harm both themselves and those around them. The therapist accepts the client unconditionally and listens with interest. One of the primary duties of the therapist, trying to understand and interpret the client's world, creates a special relationship between the client and the therapist. However, the techniques applied in psychotherapy regarding the issues discussed and the new awareness brought about by the emotions experienced in confidence become an undeniable part of the change.
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