'I feel uncomfortable when my child hugs some of his relatives, or my daughter sat on the lap of a man he doesn't know, my son wants to kiss his friend's lips, I don't want to let my daughter out of my sight, but I feel uncomfortable because she has to go to school...' I hear your words.
So what was privacy, when and how should it be given?
In recent years, the number of sexual abuse against children has been increasing in the world and in our country. In this case, the most important responsibility falls on mothers and fathers to protect children's private areas and their personal boundaries. Privacy education; It is necessary for children to know their private areas and protect their private areas, to be aware that not everything will be shown or allowed to everyone, to respect other people's private areas, and to protect their own private areas in social life.
When does privacy education begin? ?
Privacy education has no age limit. The earlier it starts, the more internalized it becomes. Some psychologists argue that the mother should protect herself from the womb. Children begin to internalize what is said and actions, even if they are not very aware of it in early childhood. With the age of 4-5, their curiosity increases and their interest in topics such as sexuality intensifies. During these periods, confidentiality education should be given if it has not been given before.
What should parents do?
Care should be taken not to breastfeed in public. (You can breastfeed under a cover even if you are in public) Care should be taken not to change diapers in public. (Even if you are in public, you should be careful not to move to the side and not be seen.) Care should be taken not to share naked photos or photos of him taking a shower on social media or other environments, saying that he is a baby. Mother and father should not kiss on the lips or touch their private parts for the purpose of loving. (Since children have internalized this situation, they will not understand harassment coming from outside.) Personal boundaries should be taken into account when knocking on doors starting from infancy. You should be alone when entering the toilet. After the age of 7-9, the habit of taking a bath alone should be gradually acquired. While taking a bath Care should be taken to keep private areas covered. It is important not to take a bath with the mother and father, and care should be taken to ensure that the parents' bikini areas are always covered. Care should be taken to prevent everyone from taking a bath. He should be taught to show his love to his friends in the right way. (No kissing on the lips, be careful when hugging.) Children should not be forced to do business with bribes such as candy or chocolate. (They are more likely to accept when someone outside offers) “Should I kiss you?” If the answer to kissing is received after being asked, one should not insist, "Then can I kiss from here?" One should not try to change one's mind. Their ideas should be respected.
So how should we raise awareness of our children? Children around the age of 4-7 should be told what their private parts are.When doing this, the word "special" should be used instead of the word "shameful". “We have visible and invisible regions. “Our visible parts are our feet, hands and ears.” "Our other regions are our special regions." Special areas can be introduced by showing them on the doll. “Our private parts; between our legs, our breasts and lips and our hips.” We can explain. We must explain that no one can touch our private parts.
It must be explained who can touch our private parts. We should make eye contact with children and explain who can touch their private parts by saying, "As long as you give permission, your mother, father and doctors when you get sick can touch your private parts, other people cannot."
Good Touch and Bad Touch. why? This issue must be explained. “Good touch; Your mother giving you a bath, your father hugging you, your teachers patting your head are all good touches. Good touch makes you feel happy. When someone touches your private parts and says it's a secret, that's bad touching. Bad touch makes you feel embarrassed, sad and angry. You shouldn't keep secrets in situations like this. To your mother, father, grandmother or grandfather "You should tell your father." We can talk about good touch and bad touch. They should be told what to do when someone touches their private parts. “When someone touches your private parts and says it's a secret, try to run away, scream, go and tell your parents about it. We can end the conversation by saying, "Tell your teacher or elders, the most important thing is not to keep a secret."
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