Anger is defined in the literature as "an emotional response to unfulfilled desires, undesired outcomes, and unmet expectations". Anger accompanies us like many emotions in our lives, and anger is one of the healthy emotions contrary to what is known. But when anger gets out of control and becomes destructive, it can cause problems in your daily routine, personal relationships, work life, and overall quality of your life. There are some key issues that we're going to build on here. These;
Anger is healthy and useful as long as it can be controlled.
Anger is not a problem-solving tool. Anger is an emotional response.
Although anger seems to be a problem in many societies and interpersonal relationships, it also naturally develops in us. It is actually an alarm system for the body. It is necessary to understand anger. Do you know someone who doesn't get angry? This is unlikely. Everyone gets angry. However, those who suppress their anger and cannot control it become aggressive. What we want to bring to people is to control anger and ensure that it is expressed and transferred in a healthy way. Thanks to healthy anger control, it is very important for the person to feel relaxed both physically and mentally. The feeling of relaxation reduces stress. So the goal is not to destroy anger. We can never aim to eradicate anger.
WHAT DO WE GET ANGRY?
Depending on the environment in which this person lives, upbringing, etc. varies according to factors. Every situation may not cause the same emotion in everyone, and the same situation may not cause anger for everyone. Anger is also related to how we give meaning to events. However, when we say anger in general, when the person gets an undesirable reaction to the situation he encounters, that alarm system is activated and the person starts to feel anger. Anger accompanies us throughout life and can appear in different ways, almost in disguise. When we say anger, the first things that come to our minds are mostly shouting, hurting something, but anger can also appear in the form of silence. In other words, not everyone can express their anger in the same way. In other words, a silent person may also be angry and the person may not be aware of it. The awareness of anger has also become for us� It is important. The issue after anger awareness should be addressed and the cause of anger should be tried to be resolved.
WHAT SHOULD FAMILY OF ANGRY CHILDREN DO?
Here, children are most important in their development. Parents, who are essential and active persons, must first work on their own anger so that they can lead their children in this regard. It is also very difficult for the children of parents who are constantly angry and express their anger in an unhealthy way, and who cannot manage their anger, to have a healthy anger control. I will talk about anger in children and its management in more detail in my next articles.
WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF ANGER?
Understanding the underlying causes of anger is essential to resolving anger. Anger does not have a specific source, everything can cause anger, but the same event may not cause anger in every person. In the face of this situation, the person should ask himself the question why did I get angry and go for a solution in line with the answer he received. It is very valuable to be people who can share their anger. The main purpose is to provide this. The anger in the core should be understood. He should manage the anger consciously about what to do.
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE TIME OF ANGRY?
tension begins. The person is no longer what he was before he was angry. It is the word we hear from most people when we are angry. Yes, during anger, as many people say, blood splashes into the brain of the person and he may not know what he is saying or doing in anger. In the moment of anger, our body ;
Digestion slows down.
Cathoracic veins; Especially the parts of the face and forehead are enlarged.
Tension and trembling of the muscles increase.
Due to the decrease in salivary gland secretion, the throat becomes dry.
Sweating increases and skin resistance decreases.
A glitch and crack begins in the voice.
Body leans forward and prepares for attack.
Eyes darken, breathing accelerates, mouth is closed and teeth are clenched, breathing is provided by opening nostrils. .
To sum up, anger is not an emotion we want to prevent or destroy, but rather we want people to experience this emotion. It is something we absorb, but it must be expressed in a healthy way. At the same time, if anger is not expressed properly, it manifests itself by causing some somatic (physical) discomfort. Examples of these are heart diseases, hypertension, depression, digestive system.
Anger should not be expressed in an aggressive way. The angry person should be expressed in a respectful way without violating the boundaries of the other person, without hurting them emotionally and physically. Instead of talking during anger, it will be healthier for communication to talk about the point of discomfort after a while
We need to control our anger before the anger takes over us. People who think that the feeling of anger has gotten out of control and has become almost unbearable should definitely apply to a mental health personnel.
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