When we encounter problems that we cannot cope with, when we have intense negative emotions (anger, anxiety, helplessness, etc.), when we think that we have problems that we need support for, when we encounter the difficulties of life that we cannot overcome alone, if we think of getting help from an expert, but we do not dare and we have concerns about trust, what should we do? Should we do it?
Of course, it is not easy to sometimes share the problems that bother us with our closest people, or even to tell someone we don't know the problems we are afraid to face even to ourselves. Let's say you have some problems with your spouse and you cannot solve these problems or share them with anyone; You want to go to a psychologist and solve these problems. But you have hesitations about going to a psychologist; It is very normal to have concerns and thoughts about these problems that you cannot even talk to your friends about, how to trust and tell a stranger, or whether he is the right expert and whether he can help you.
You now need to get help to solve these problems with your spouse. you are aware. So who can I consult, who is the right expert for me and who is the advisor I can trust? First of all, you can search for a psychologist who will help you by using technology, the internet, social media, or you can get advice from your circle. Let's say you researched it on the Internet or made an appointment with a specialist who liked your recommendation. You may have hesitations about going to the meeting, be brave about it, because it is up to you whether to tell your problems or continue after your impressions of the therapist in the first session.
Confidentiality and mutual trust are the most important principles in the therapeutic process between therapist and client. After making your appointment, you gathered all your courage and went to the first session; You may not know much about the therapy or counseling process. First of all, in this session, it is important to reflect on what you do not know about the process, what you are curious about, your concerns, and what you want to learn. In addition, the education level of the specialist in front of us, which department he graduated from, the therapy technique he will use, his educational background regarding the solution of your problem. It is your natural right to ask how the therapy process will progress! The other person may not have been educated about your problem; This may cause you more harm than help. The first principle of therapy is not to harm the client. Let's say; You went to a psychologist because of your communication problems and severe disagreements with your spouse; But when you question his educational background, you may realize that he is not a psychology graduate but a life coach or therapist; If he does not have training in family counseling or marriage and couple therapy, he will not be able to provide adequate support for your problem.
If you are going to consult a psychologist about an issue regarding your child's irritability, you should choose people who have training in children's problems (such as play therapy, CBT for children). ; If you want to receive individual therapy due to some of your personal problems, you should get support from experts trained in this field (schema therapy, short-term solution-focused therapy, CBT, holistic psychotherapy, etc.), or if you have sexual problems with your partner, then you should get support from someone who has received sexual therapy training. The bond you establish with your therapist and the first meeting are very important and decisive. If your therapist provides enough information about the process at the beginning, if he/she gives you confidence, and if this reduces your anxiety, it is up to you to continue the therapy after the first session, or if he/she does not give you confidence and does not inform you enough, it is up to you not to continue!
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