First of all, I would like to inform you that this article is not about what we should do and how we should do it. The points I will touch upon are some of the attitudes I have observed depending on the process. I do not prefer to use the word education when it comes to our basic needs. I think that our natural needs such as eating, sleeping and toileting need support, not education, but support for your child to get used to it, depending on the adaptation process as he gets older.
Depending on our biological clock and needs, our body needs He naturally knows exactly what to do and how to do it, but development is a dynamic process that continues throughout our lives. Your child, who is trying to get used to the world, is "trained" to act according to certain norms, and when he is forced, this is perceived as a problem. At this point we often have difficulty staying in the emotion. From our emotions that make us who we are... When the word education comes into play, I see that parents perceive it as a duty and show intense anxiety, fatigue and procrastination, especially during the implementation phase. For this reason, the process becomes very challenging for both parties, both the child and the adult. For example, let's think about this: your baby needs to eat from the moment he is born. But there is no such thing as food "education" in our language. I don't often hear parents say, "Oh, it's almost time to eat, I'm so stressed." But sleep "training" is a concept that has just come to the fore, and it is a very, very important issue. In fact, it is so important that we advise families who are subjected to a didactic sleep training process, when your child's sleep is interrupted in the room and he cannot calm himself down (naturally), wait outside for 5 minutes and wait until your baby faints and falls asleep because he overstimulates his nervous system instead of calming himself down while crying and for longer periods of time. I want to say do not comply with this system that prevents you from going to him! (Isn't it very complicated? Yes, and it is a process that feels very emotionally complicated as well...)
Emotion regulation is a very broad umbrella. One of the subheadings under this umbrella is "trainings". During each process, remember that your child has emotions. Not as education and obligation, but as your experience and experience Remember that you are passing it on to the next generation. You are there to support. Really, your child is looking into your eyes. Even when you think he's not looking... All he expects is unconditional acceptance, love and compassion. Therefore, as the one who always knows your child best, whenever you do not feel well, do not think you are enough, are hopeless or anxious, first turn inward. Get in touch with your inner child. Think about your childhood excitements, try to imagine the time you spent with your family, being a child, the excitement of games and learning something new, the happiness of being able, the feeling of approval and acceptance. You can reach unlimited technical knowledge, but emotional awareness, staying in the moment and turning inward are the foundations that should come before any technical knowledge. Therefore, support basic needs not through the window of education, but by opening the window of emotion and experience. Remember that we are human, we are unique, and we only find ourselves fully through the bond of relationship between us. Because in addition to being an individual, humans are nourished by relational ties; This bond gives us life energy. Without moving away from emotion, accept all the upcoming processes, wait with excitement, welcome each new phase, and continue your process by showing compassion to yourself, your child, your family, your environment, in short, your ties...
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