The place of the father in the child's life
The difference between father-child attachment and mother-child attachment
The relationship between boy-child and father and its importance
The relationship between daughter-father relationship and its importance
How can I be a more involved father?
The father is a source of love and an identification model for the child. He is the most important person who enables the child to open up to the world, break away from maternal dependency, and become self-confident as an individual in life.
Fathers' attachment to their children is not much different from mothers' attachment to their children. However, fathers' attachment to their children appears to be less or less intense than that of mothers. While the father assumes a protective role towards both his wife and child, he also assumes less care and responsibility for the child. This seems to make the father less attached to his child.
The father plays an important role in the baby's early emotional and social development. The father, as a being that exists outside the mother, whom the baby sees as a part of his own body, who communicates with him, is dependent on him, and from whom the baby receives attention, is like the key to the baby's opening to the world.
What is done? Research shows that fathers play a more playful role in the child's life, have fun and are more tolerant than mothers. When everything is going well, fathers are extremely sensitive and responsive to their children. However, when the baby/child starts crying or causes problems, it is the mother, not the father, who receives the message and moves towards a solution. The father, on the other hand, is an object of love and a person/model to be taken as an example, which the child perceives as different from himself, unlike himself (does not have a physical part like the mother).
While the child socializes by imitating his father and learns to establish relationships with society; On the other hand, it arguably plays the biggest role in the "sexual identity" development for the boy and in the "relationship with the opposite sex" process for the girl. It is possible that children who cannot experience the process adequately are vulnerable to problems related to sexual identity development. is the hand. In such cases, examples can be seen where the boy takes the mother as his "identification model", experiences a sexual identity deviation, identifies himself with the mother, uses his mother's make-up from time to time, imitates her behavior, and wants to dress like her.
Girls who are not together enough with their fathers/who do not have healthy communication grow up as children who expect constant love and attention from the opposite sex in social relations, are more combative, tend to engage in negative behaviors to attract attention, and tend to have relationships with men older than their age. can be monitored.
In addition, the father is a "source of trust" for all children. The father is the one who gives strength, protection and ownership, and the feeling of not being alone. Therefore, in case of deprivation/emotional deficiency, it is possible for the child to have some fears, insecurity, delays in social development, low self-confidence and timidity. that children are the ones who establish the most relationship with their fathers; It shows that the adaptation processes (adaptation to school, adaptation to friendships, adaptation to changes, etc.) and success in life are higher for the children of fathers who have "skin-to-skin contact" and "emotional and social sharing" with their children from the early developmental years.
Working life, especially big city life, brings with it limited time. If the time you spend as a father to your children is limited in this rush, your tolerance and understanding towards them decreases, and as a result, your father-child relationship weakens;
1. The time when your child needs you the most is the preschool period, including the ages of 0-6. With school age, friendship and social life outside of parents will become more important and your child will move away from you as a result of the natural development process. For this reason, father-child togetherness and the amount of quality time spent in the mentioned age period will play an important role in his personality development and satisfaction. In other words, today's conditions Evaluate yours very well.
2. Engage in joint activities (going to the museum together, fishing, horseback riding, doing sports, etc.): activities where you can both have an enjoyable time and introduce and teach him about life…
3. Designate 2-3 hours of your time at least once a week as "father-son/father-daughter activity time" and do a separate activity each week.
4. Have at least one evening during the week to play chess, checkers, box toys, etc. Make it your game night.
5. Do not forget to sit at the table together at dinner. They will both learn etiquette from you and have the opportunity to talk about what they experienced that day.
Think of the effort and time you spent for a person you have never met in your life, a neighbor or a customer you are seeing for the first time. … Or think about the time you spared for a friend or a guest, the priorities you postponed, your fatigue…. And then remember the importance of implementing a few items listed above for your “most precious one”!
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