“When did he come to life so that he could die!” I can almost hear you say. I received so much feedback after my article "The most common sexual problems in women and their solution suggestions" that this week I decided to write about our sexual life, which died without being revived.
Whether marriage kills love or not, What is love and what is it not, does it exist or not, does it die or transform? These are topics that have been talked about and researched for many years, but our topic today is not "love". "Love" has been talked about enough, but we carefully avoid talking about our sex life, we cannot find anyone to ask dozens of questions in our minds, we spend our best years with hearsay information...
So what is sexuality and is it really that important for women? Or is it a "must" that is important and enjoyable only for men, as we have always been taught? I think you can imagine how interesting things will get if I start by saying that "oxytocin", the hormone secreted during orgasm, is one of the hormones popularly known as the 'milk hormone' and that it plays a very important role in the formation of the feeling of motherhood!
A healthy sexual life is so important not only for making our spouse happy and maintaining the marriage, but also for our own mental and physical health; We can even be protected from depression, diabetes and obesity just by having a regular and satisfactory sex life. (provided that you don't make half a loaf of toast with double cheddar and eat it just because you're hungry after a wonderful night)
So what can we do to keep our sex life alive? Where and how can we find and catch our 'fleeting sexual desire', which is a common complaint of many of my clients? Let's say we got it, how do we make it different from ordinary sex?
You will be surprised how your thoughts about your sexual life will change after 7 days with 7 special suggestions that you can try every day!
How can you devote yourself to sex when you have in mind the meal you will cook tomorrow, the shirts to be ironed, the reports to be prepared, the e-mails to be sent? Remember that only a mind free from daily hustle and bustle can relax. You can give sex and reach satisfaction, or if you think of soaking the beans overnight at the most exciting point, iron your shirt twice while you're at it and then you can continue from where you left off. First rule: we will keep not only our body but also our mind in "that moment"!
The children came from school, dinner was eaten, tea was brewed, fruits were eaten, the children went to sleep, you and your wife passed out on the sofa with the remote control in your hand... Didn't you hear me say, get up, the children are asleep! Monotony affects people like an insidious disease, but it is in our hands to change this. It is so important that you set your mind to making love that night! Once you put your mind to it, you'll be surprised how quickly you can send the kids to bed!
When you put your mind to making love that night, it's up to you to turn it into a very fun game. . Giving your partner a little hint about your plan during the day and sending mysterious and promising messages will keep both of you excited all day long; It will make you look forward to the evening. You will be filled with a fresh excitement, like the excitement of young people waiting for that 3-second moment when the lights turn off and the movie does not start, to hold hands in the cinema and give an innocent kiss. Try it and see!
Well, let's say everything is okay, you are with your spouse 2 or 3 nights a week, but everything is so "the same" that you start counting the dots on the ceiling out of boredom! This is so normal; Even if you eat your favorite food for 7 days in a row, on the 8th day you will say "That's enough!" you say! A sexual life where you do not improve yourself and do not try new things is exactly like this. Both partners have a responsibility here. Sex is neither a man's nor a woman's monopoly; Both parties should strive to improve themselves. Just as we started with Cin Ali when we first learned to read and then moved on to story books and then novels, we should make similar progress in our sexual life. For a more colorful and pleasurable sexual life, we must read, research, in short, we must work hard, and most importantly, we must not hesitate to try new things.
“ It is easy to write these, What does my partner think of me when I want to try a new position? Wouldn't he think, "Where did you get these from?" and wouldn't he have negative feelings and thoughts about me? You think so, right? Get those prejudices out of your mind! Transparency in our relationships is very important in our sexual lives, as in everything else. Don't hesitate to talk about these with your spouse. Buy a book on this subject, or order it online if you are embarrassed to buy it, or take advantage of the women's health web portal www.jinekolognet.com and share all the new information you have learned with your partner. When you see the light in your eyes, you will agree with me.
“I passed all these 5 steps, everything is fine, but I can't get the negative thoughts out of my head about my body” or “During lovemaking Do you say, "I definitely look very strange and funny and I cannot adapt to making love because of this thought?" The bed is not a podium where we present ourselves to our spouse, but a place where we come together with intense emotions and hormones and blend both our soul and body with each other. Let both your mind and body focus on the pleasure of every part of your body. Remember, as you enjoy, the pleasure the other person receives will also increase.
We have come to the last point! Everything is going great so far; We made plans, created little excitements, took advantage of the first opportunity we found, left our minds alone, kept our ears away from the washing machine's end signal (the world does not end when the laundry stays in the machine for 30 minutes - certain information!), cleared ourselves of negative thoughts about our bodies and focused on pleasure. Perfect! Then let's have an orgasm, I mean we will, right? Aren't we supposed to be certain, and if not, how will we be? At this point, we leave aside all the mistakes we think are right and leave ourselves to the "moment". Let's not forget that the biggest enemy of orgasm is "waiting" for orgasm! The important thing is not only to have an orgasm but also to enjoy the whole process and every moment of sex. Orgasm will be experienced as a natural result anyway.
Now that we have learned the 7 special items, let's start applying them! Are there any points where we get stuck and can't we get out of the situation on our own? Then ask an expert working on this subject. Let's never hesitate to get support. Let's not forget that a healthy sexual life is the key to many things in our lives. Hoping to find the right key… With love!
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