Every period of our lives has different changes and transitions. Moving from infancy to childhood, moving from primary school to high school, moving to a new home or work, moving into different relationships, moving to a new item... Adapting to changes and getting used to them can often be a painful and difficult process. Adolescence is a process in which many hormonal, emotional and intellectual, that is, psychological and physiological changes occur. Adolescents not only experience the benefits of this process themselves, but also the individuals around them are affected by this process. . Therefore, while the adolescent goes through so many changes, the parents of the teenager also go through and have to go through change. This period is the most difficult and complex part of life, located between childhood and adulthood, and plays a major role in the formation of our identity and personality traits that will direct our future lives.
Disagreements, different ideas and thoughts are experienced at every moment of life. situation. The important thing is to manage such crisis periods. Rapid growth and change during adolescence can make it difficult for the adolescent to control his emotions and behavior. Being stuck between childhood and adulthood changes the reactions of both parents and adolescents and their ability to cope with problems. While parents, on the one hand, expect their growing children to behave more maturely and more responsibly, on the other hand, they want their children to keep their words as they used to and used to. While the adolescent wants more freedom and independence, he may also postpone or refuse to take responsibility for his actions. Conflicts between parents and adolescents basically arise from these dilemmas. There are typical attitudes of adolescence. These attitudes are expressed in similar ways by all families. Such as defying authority, disobedience, sensitivity to criticism, dislike and criticism... With these attitudes, the adolescent tries to prove that he is a different individual from his parents and to show his own competence to himself and his environment. On the other hand, he is afraid of being alone and making mistakes, and he secretly needs his parents to guide him. However, from time to time they may express and behave as if they do not like it. Parents also change They may observe that their children are starting to have a completely different identity in line with the signs, and become worried and unknowingly display negative attitudes and behaviors towards these situations. A child who used to be more harmonious, obedient, and more careful about his responsibilities soon began to refrain from doing so and to reject them. It is precisely in these situations, when parents try to get closer to the adolescent at home using the methods they used in the past years, the severity of the shock in their relationships begins to increase. Because exactly what the teenager wants to get rid of and prove is that he is no longer a child. However, parents ignore this and want to continue acting like children.
So what should parents do? What are the correct attitudes and methods? How to establish healthier communication with adolescents?
Situations that all families should never ignore; Family members need to know that they are valuable and important, feel safe, develop a sense of closeness and solidarity, increase awareness of responsibility and develop the ability to cope with the difficulties encountered. Attitudes and behaviors approached with this awareness will bring about healthy communication skills and thus less conflict. The basic elements we should pay attention to in healthy communication are;
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We should explain the reason for what we want without using commanding, intimidating or authority-like sentences.
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Even if the adolescent's thoughts seem childish or simple, name-calling, ridicule, humiliation and comparisons should be avoided.
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Advice should not be given by constantly talking about your own experiences or the difficulties in your period.
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Suggestions for solutions to the problems encountered should be taken into consideration, and if there are points that need improvement, they can be improved. However, parents should not see themselves as the only source of solution.
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Adolescents' lives should not be questioned and tested with persistent and constant questions.
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Every positive behavior they make should not be questioned and tested. It should not be exaggerated and constantly praised as if one has performed a supernatural skill.
However, despite everything, there are some problems. If you think or observe that you are having difficulty coping with your problems or that you cannot cope with the problems, please do not forget to get professional support in order to have a healthy mental health.
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