Defining, understanding and realizing anger is actually the summary of what I will write. It is necessary to look at anger as a composition rather than a result. Especially in individuals with anger management problems. For this reason, I will tell you the anger series in 3 parts: introduction, development and conclusion.
Anger control problems include genes, witnessing weak control strategies, misdirection of society, experiencing abuse or trauma, inability to manage stress, perfectionism, emotions. It can be explained by the inability to recognize or express, low self-confidence, low frustration tolerance, trying to hide emotions, stubbornness and suffering. Against the backdrop of these components, anger awaits any trigger. Some of these triggers may be:
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inhibition of your behavior
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injustice, rude behavior
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not being understood by the other person
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not being honest
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being disappointed
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not being taken seriously
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being seen as worthless by the person who is valued
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being attacked verbally or physically
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desperation
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hurting you physically or mentally
Perhaps the situations I have listed above are more likely to occur. You can add many things. Of course, getting angry is a natural reaction to these situations. However, experiencing, reflecting and expressing anger can easily become unnatural and turn into an anger problem. For the situations mentioned below, we can say that this individual has an anger problem. For example;
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if the person harms himself, others or those around him
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if the reaction to the event takes a long time and the intensity of the anger does not decrease
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if the person becomes lonely due to anger
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if one or more people have told him that he has an "anger management problem"
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if there is a job loss due to anger
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if the person cannot maintain bilateral relations
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the person gets out of control when angry or If he/she thinks that the person is coming out
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individuals around the person do not want to make that person angry. If anger shows a different sensitivity
When we look at the development part of anger, you may not have a control problem every time you get angry, but you may also have a control problem that requires support from an expert. I recommend that you re-evaluate the symptoms of anger management problems that I listed in the previous section.
Anger can develop healthy or unhealthy. To make the distinction, you need to be aware of your emotions, be able to rate them, and observe yourself. When something happens that makes you angry, it is important to recognize, interpret and understand your emotions. Other emotions may be felt at the same time as anger. It may be accompanied by disappointment, sadness, or another emotion.
This cocktail of emotions can make it difficult to comprehend the situation you are experiencing.
Here, noticing which emotion lasts longer also means healthy anger. And sometimes healthy anger brings positive results.
On the other hand, unhealthy anger
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is experienced very often
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that it continues for a long time
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that it suppresses other emotions
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that the anger is felt very intensely
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I can say that it ruins your relationships
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it drags you into a destructive cycle
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you become lonely.
Then you must separate yourself from unhealthy anger, look at it from a distance, and reconsider your relationship with anger.
Some Recommendations for Anger Management
“Deep breathing 1,2,3 “
“BREAK”
When we come to the result of anger, chronic You can see that it turns into stress, chronic anger, adaptation problems, health hazards, immune system disorders, negative thoughts, negative emotions, and relationships that never get better. Or you can recognize anger, notice it, regulate it and control it.
I would like to emphasize again that you should consult a specialist for anger management problems that require clinical intervention. Apart from that, you can use the information here for emotional regulation exercises or You can consider it as general information about anger. The reason I make these statements is to protect you from the misconception that many people have fallen. In other words, to avoid making the mistake of saying "I know", "I applied it but it didn't work" or "I don't have anything".
I will talk about two commonly used methods for anger management.
The first method is 'M O L A'.
In this method, as soon as you realize that you are angry, you need to leave the environment you are in and go to another place and isolate there for a certain period of time. For example, the argument started in the kitchen and you realized you were angry. At that moment, you told the other person that you wanted to take a break and left the kitchen and went to the living room. To calm down in this room, if you want, you can walk quickly around the room, count from 1 to 100 in your mind, try to hum your favorite song, squeeze a pillow, open the window and get fresh air and breathe frequently and quickly. Once you think you have calmed down (you can follow the calming cues, such as your heart rate starting to return to normal), you need to leave the room and return to the topic you were discussing. However, the other person may not be ready to talk again. Knowing that he/she also needs time and that not everything can be the way you want, you should give him/her time and start talking about the issue again before too long.
Let's say you applied the Time Out technique, calmed down, and then you never talked about it again, or you talked about it after many hours or days. In this case the 'time out' technique will not work. Because the importance of the subject you are talking about will begin to decrease over time and perhaps it will be swept under the carpet.
Another method may be breathing.
When you realize you are angry, you can sit on a chair and put your hands on your stomach. Take a deep breath through your nose for 4 seconds and try to fill this air into your belly. The breath you take should inflate your belly. This way, you use diaphragmatic breathing. You can then release the breath you have stored in your abdomen with a hiss for as long as possible. Use this when you are angry But you can also apply this and many other breathing exercises when there is no reason to discover calmness in your daily life and see that regular breathing exercises make you feel better.
Another breathing exercise can be chest breathing.
While breathing through your nose. Try to fill your breath into your chest by expanding your arms forward, side and back. You can store more breath by moving your shoulder blades back. You can relax your chest by breathing out through your nose again.
Although there are many reliable sources about breathing exercises, you can also practice breathing exercises from popular video sites.
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