A saying that most of us have either said or heard from our family or those around us is "I go where, you go there!". There are other similar sentences:
You cannot go anywhere without me.
You will not touch anything without asking me.
You will not make promises to anyone without my permission.
These sentences can be derived so many times. Don't you think we sometimes intervene in our children's lives more than necessary? We cannot find the middle ground between being too liberal and too oppressive. When we try to control and protect, we overdo it. In fact, most of the things we do without realizing it negatively affect our child's personality development, causing him to lack some skills when he becomes an adult.
What happens when we become overly controlling?
First of all, because every person is different. This can have many consequences. One of these; With adolescence, your child may develop a rebellious attitude. Because you limit them too much, you may cause them to feel angry with you and become aggressive or move away from you.
Sometimes, they see themselves as worthless, unloved, incompetent. The feeling of "I can do it, I can succeed" does not develop in children whose families are controlling.
Another possible outcome is that they continue their lives as adults who cannot separate themselves from you. They have acted so much in line with your views that in most cases they have no thoughts, wishes, interests or dreams of their own. When they get married, they will either continue their married life in line with your ideas, or they will become unable to separate themselves from their spouses. The same things will often occur not only in marriage, but also in business life. They will be people who cannot produce anything new, who cannot go beyond what is told, and who can perhaps be called passive.
What Should Be Done?
The most important thing for establishing a healthy relationship with your child and for his/her personality development to develop positively is unconditional love. . If a child knows that he will be loved no matter what he does, he will establish a more positive relationship with you and will relax and relax.
Read books about family attitudes. There are many books, articles and blog posts written on this subject. Learn what's right . Have an attitude that is neither too liberal nor too controlling.
Read books on child psychology. Read to understand both your child and yourself. You were once a child, too, and this is how you can understand how your experiences affected your personality. When you discover its effects on yourself, you begin to be more careful with your child.
Accept that your child is an individual. They too have interests, dreams, likes and dislikes, sadness, fears, their own thoughts and wishes. If he doesn't want to come to your neighbor's with you, there is a reason. Don't be forceful until you know the reason. Respect their wishes and decisions.
Encourage them to express their feelings. Generally, conflicts arise because the parties cannot express their feelings.
When they get angry or upset about something, try to understand what it is, do not judge them immediately.
Do not underestimate their feelings and thoughts.
Give him opportunities. So that he can get to know the world, life, people and even animals... Support him in discovering what he enjoys and creating his dreams for the future.
Remember, parents prepare their children for life by raising them. By paying attention to these details, you can ensure that your child does not become dependent on you, develop negative thoughts about himself, or feel anger towards you.
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