Emotional Intelligence in Children

Emotional intelligence is defined as being able to understand one's own and others' emotions, benefit from these emotions while solving problems, empathize, adapt to change, manage stress, be motivated, and maintain successful relationships with others.

What are the benefits of emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence skills help children manage conflicts and develop deeper friendships. They report that adults with improved emotional intelligence have better relationships in their personal and professional lives. Studies show that individuals with high emotional intelligence are less likely to experience depression and other problems in the future. The benefits of emotional intelligence are very useful and meaningful. It enables a child who can express his feelings in a healthy way to maintain healthy relationships with his environment.

How can emotional intelligence be developed in children?

Emotional intelligence is learned through experience and develops over time, it is not innate. Therefore, parents have important roles in their development.

  • Naming Your Child's Emotions

  • Children need to know how to describe the feelings they are experiencing. You can help your child by giving a name to an emotion you suspect he or she is feeling. For example, you have observed that your child is upset that you did not go to visit his grandmother. "We couldn't go to visit your grandmother because it was snowing. I see that you are upset about this and I understand you.” Emotional words like "angry", "sad", "shy" and "painful" all build a vocabulary for your child to express their feelings. And don't forget to share positive words like "Joy", "Excited" and "Hopeful" with your child.

  • Show empathy

  • When your child is upset—when he is disappointed, when he seems sad—it can be helpful to say how you feel. A better approach is to validate their feelings and show empathy. When you say you can't go to the park until your child finishes his homework In crying, “I also feel sad when I can't do what I want. It's hard to work when you don't want to, I understand you." You can better show that you understand him by making empathetic sentences. Once he sees that you understand how he feels, he will push himself less to show how he feels in his actions. Remember, children whose emotions cannot be understood show themselves through their behavior.

  • Modelling appropriate ways to express emotions

  • The best way to teach your child how to express emotions is to model these skills yourself. You can use emoticons in your daily conversations. For example, you can use phrases such as “I feel happy we invited my moms to dinner” or “I feel sorry they are late”.


  • Healthy head teaching coping skills

  • Once children understand their emotions, they also need to learn how to deal with them. Knowing how to cheer up, recognize their fears, face them, and calm themselves can be complex for younger children. But you can teach special skills. For example, when you see that he is angry, you can regulate his breathing together.

    Also, you can create a kit with your child that helps them cope with their emotions more easily. For example, if you see him getting angry often, you can prepare an anger box together. You can give this box a positive name, tell him to picture when he is angry or write down the situation he is angry and throw it in the box. Then you can remind her to pick up her calm kit (colorbook, soothing music, a favorite joke book where she makes fun of her fears or things that make her angry, etc.) and practice using these tools to manage her emotions. In situations like this, it is quite wrong to force your child to shout, scream and vent with boxing gloves. It may cause you to increase the possible situation.

  • Talk about emotional intelligence

  • Your child's emotional intelligence is highly developed. it's not really that important. Remember, there is always room for improvement. It is natural to experience ups and downs throughout childhood and adolescence. He is likely to encounter obstacles and difficulties as he grows up. Therefore, you can make it a goal to improve their skills.

    Talk to your child about their feelings every day. If your child is upset when he hears that he has a dentist appointment, help him feel in control of the visit. Ask him to tell you why he is afraid, what he thinks he will encounter there, whether he knows why he should go. Talking to children about their feelings will be just as effective as adults. You may be talking about the emotional characters in the books you read and the movies you watch. Let's get to know our feelings books can also be very useful.

    Consider your child's mistakes as a step towards getting better. When you see someone hurting their feelings, take time to talk to them about how they can be better in the future. With your ongoing support and guidance, you can develop the emotional intelligence he will need to be successful in life. Stay well.

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