“Oh, we laughed so much, something will happen to us for sure”
“I condemned the neighbor's son so much that it happened to me”
“These setbacks always find me anyway”
These negative thoughts that we casually say or think in daily life prevent us from many things and can also cause psychological destruction. Erroneous negative thought patterns known as cognitive distortions; It can also lead to conditions such as depression, anxiety and anger uncontrollability. Psychiatrist Dr. Uğur Hatıloğlu gave information about the negative effects of the most commonly used clichéd words on our lives and ways to deal with them.
- IF I SAY IT FORTY TIMES, IT WILL BE OK
This word is used to indicate that the words or sentences that contain negative emotions that we frequently express will happen to us.In this distortion, known as 'fortune telling', the person thinks that he will encounter something bad and looks for evidence to support it, and begins to make predictions. is working. In general, since people remember more negative memories than positive ones, they tend to remember more the things that happened, rather than the ones that did not happen by thinking about them frequently. To overcome this, you can frequently think of events that did not happen and use them as counter-evidence, and try to find other reasons that could cause that situation to be negative and attempt to solve what you can find. Of course, if you want to believe in it, you can hope for it to happen by thinking positively. like “Today I will win the lottery > 'I laughed so much, something will happen to me' – 'Come to the funeral prayer': These are the words used by those who wholeheartedly believe that negative events will eventually happen to them. In this distortion, which we call 'catastrophizing', the person exaggerates what could happen to him and imagines the worst possible outcome. For this reason, he cannot enjoy the situation he is in, or he thinks that if he enjoys it less, he will get rid of that negative situation. However, no matter what we do, something bad can always happen to us, and we cannot fully avoid it by thinking or feeling differently. We are the moon. Improving our skills in coping with the problem and valuing our skills, being able to think of alternatives, trying to understand how other people deal with it and why they do not feel the same as you, remembering how we have overcome stressful life events before, knowing that we can gain from every negative event, resisting these thoughts. It will make you feel less anxious. 'He'll find me' - 'The pumpkin hit me again. ': 'Overgeneralization'is a distortion in which a person believes that an event that has happened to him will always repeat itself, like history. When we encounter any negative event, we feel angry as if we experience that event every day, or we worry that it will happen again. When we overgeneralize, we overlook all other possibilities and end up feeling worse and worse. It may be useful to think that negative events happen to others, to calculate how often such negative events happen to us, which are generally less than we think, and to compare that situation with other days and situations. We often use this word to protect our loved ones and ourselves. When we see the negative thoughts and behaviors of others, we avoid talking about them, criticizing them, or trying to correct them in order to avoid experiencing this. Or we think that the negative situations we experience happen because we criticized them in a similar event in the past. This causes us to blame ourselves, or even focus only on this, which can cause us to overlook the positive behaviors we are currently exhibiting.Because of this negative pattern, known as 'regret bias', we always try to take precautions. Because a new mistake we make may cause us to encounter another problem in the future. Of course, we have made mistakes in the past and we can make them again. We gain experience through our mistakes and learn through our mistakes. It is natural to seek, find and correct our own blame for our mistakes; It is unhealthy to live with this and direct our lives accordingly. 'This is complete. Amen, waste of time' - 'It's all or nothing' – 'All or nothing': Distortion in which people or events are evaluated in extremes such as black and white is called 'polar/binary thinking' gets. This negative pattern, which is at the center of perfectionism, causes you to sink to the bottom with the slightest mistake. In fact, life is rarely one way or the other. There are no absolutes in the universe. That's why if you force yourself into absolute situations, you will often live in depression. Because this situation does not correspond to real life. It may be useful to try to find the grays between black and white, to see what binary thinking causes in your life, to observe how such thinking returns to you, to examine whether your life is as bad as you expected when you live in gray tones, to focus on the positives and evaluate alternatives.
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