We are all crushed under the weight of the countless behaviors expected of us. We feel compelled to fulfill these expectations, even though we know that most of them will not make our lives any happier if we fulfill them. Although violating these behavioral commandments often does not bring far-reaching consequences, guilt continues to eat away at our ego. It is no one other than ourselves who hinders us, judges us, and compels us to the truth. Although the perceptions we bring from childhood and the information in the social bowl are at play here, they are not the subject of this article. If everything starts with us, when you have the courage to forgive yourself, you will find the only person who has ever hurt you. You need to train your SUPER-SELF to get rid of sabotaging yourself and to eliminate the guilt, shame and fear of punishment trapped inside you.
So how?
Being grateful to yourself and saying goodbye to self-censorship…
Self-censorship is our inner voice that acts more uncontrollably than conscience but makes automatic comments that maintain their relationship with each other. It feeds your negative feelings about yourself with constant judgmental and inhibiting inhibitions. If you act knowing that this inner voice is cultural censorship codes, you will have taken the first step. Because it is possible to silence this inner voice with awareness, but you need to make your awareness a habit in order to say goodbye. (There is an exercise suggestion at the end of the article.)
Ask yourself about being grateful to yourself, how many times have you complained about anything today? Complaining shows that we have forgotten to be grateful and that you are unaware of the beauty in our lives. Knowing how to be grateful is a gift we give ourselves when we realize what we have. If you spend too much time on the negativity in your life, that's all you'll see. Because when you are not grateful to yourself, you will be trapped in the what-ifs of life with all its regrets. Being grateful to yourself enables forgiveness. Therefore, do not forget to thank yourself for everything you have contributed to yourself, for what you have experienced or have not experienced. There are many situations around you to give thanks. For this, you need to create space and time for yourself. It may be difficult to achieve this, but you can live and grow in it. Remember that there is only one step to growing.
EXERCISE (This is my being)
I will suggest you an exercise from form therapy in order for the ideal "Essence" and the real "Essence" to get closer to each other. With this exercise, you will find yourself, You will learn a basic attitude that will be respectful and good for you, allowing you to release the "Essence" into the river of perception, which will be good for you.
You can practice the "This is my existence" exercise for a few minutes and wherever you can concentrate on yourself. Give your attention to the impressions that touch your consciousness and touch your senses: seeing, tasting, smelling, hearing, hearing, feeling... Then you will see that perception is a very active event and that you yourself can direct it.
There is something for you. Let me give an example. "I am typing on the computer, this is my being. I breathe deeply, this is my being... I hear noise and I get angry, this is my being... I wonder if I should express my anger, this is my being..." After a while, you will feel a certain comfort and you will understand what should happen. You will see that you accept what is not. By then, self-censorship will begin to say the following: “Actually.., I had to…, although…, I shouldn't have…, I wish…, I don't want to feel…” etc. Give these sentences the opportunity to disappear slowly. In this way, you can investigate the actions of self-censorship before the behavior comes under pressure.
When you repeat this exercise frequently, its effect increases.
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