Anger
Normal
You cannot make a child not get angry or control his anger. Because anger management is a misunderstood term. The feeling of anger is uncontrollable. In fact, "aggressive behavior control" is a more accurate expression. When angry, behavior can be controlled, not anger. Anger is a very human, normal and protective emotion. There is no formula to prevent your child from getting angry. It is possible to support him/her in how he/she can control his/her behavior when angry. Preschoolers must first recognize their emotions. You can take the first step by becoming aware of your emotions.
Not Normal
If your child hits instead of talking, it is because he is experiencing anger instead of anger. Anger is actually the general name of many emotions. These; It is irritation, frustration, resentment, rage and hatred. If a child's emotional channel is damaged, he may feel anger instead of anger, and hatred instead of frustration. As a parent, if your emotional spectrum is disrupted while raising your children, this disorder can also be passed on to your child. Your child hits the toy instead of sharing it. Because instead of experiencing anger, he experiences anger. Children, of course, have difficulty expressing their emotions at a young age. Parents are the first to teach this to children. Parents help children recognize and express their emotions and guide their behavior. Doing exercises or activities to help them recognize their emotions will make it easier for your child to recognize emotions and control their behavior.
Anxiety
Normal
Every child experiences some fears from time to time. lives. Children can become anxious while exploring the world, having new experiences, and tackling challenges. These concerns are a sign of growth. Children who were constantly together with their mother or caregiver until the preschool period may experience fear of losing them when they start kindergarten. It is normal for children to experience fear of loss during the separation process from their mother. In addition, this situation can also occur when some negative experiences occur that may cause fear of loss. A loved one in the family After the loss of a child, children may ask many questions about the loss. “Mom, you won't die either, right?” They may have concerns like these.
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bedwetting, nail biting, masturbation, thumb sucking, night terrors, etc. When symptoms occur, it may be necessary to evaluate the process. He/she can be given time to cope with the separation in the first 1-1.5 months when he/she starts school. In this process, he begins to feel apart from you and also to feel like he belongs to his school. However, when some children still cannot separate from their mothers after this period, the underlying dynamics may need to be examined. If a child develops a fear of losing his/her parents when everything is normal and it continues for a long time, it should be taken seriously. If, after getting used to school, they suddenly start wanting not to go to school, it should be taken into consideration. If he doesn't leave you alone at home even for a moment; This should also be considered when washing dishes, cooking, going to the other room, taking care of your spouse, or at a special time you set aside for yourself. It would be good to provide opportunities for your child to become autonomous. The fear of being alone is normal in the 0-2 year old period, but if it still persists in children after the age of 3, it should be monitored. Once children establish a secure bond with their mother, they begin to become independent. They gravitate towards their peers and may be separated from their mothers for a while. They know that their mother will come to them and pick them up from school anyway. If a 5-year-old still has fears of being separated from his or her mother or being alone, it is necessary to proceed step by step.
Thumb Sucking
Normal
During 0-2 years of age Thumb sucking is a normal and normal situation for children to relieve themselves. Thus, they stop sucking and find other ways to cope with stress. Some children show thumb sucking behavior right from the womb. Although it is a very common behavior in infancy, it is also seen in some children in the preschool period. Thumb sucking is a comforting behavior since infancy. Most children stop sucking their thumb after a while. Although it continues during sleep, many children find different ways to relax instead of thumb sucking. By the end of the preschool period, thumb sucking behavior is expected to end.
Not Normal
Children who continue their thumb sucking behavior for a long time may experience some changes such as thinning of their fingers and dental and palate problems. . Thumb sucking is one of the hardest habits to quit. However, when thinning of the finger is observed, expert opinion should be obtained. However, when your child starts sucking his thumb after infancy and later in the preschool period, the process should be followed. Because thumb sucking is rare later on. Thumb sucking can also be observed after traumatic events. In these cases, it is very effective to investigate the cause of the behavior and follow your child. If you are still sucking your thumb at the end of the preschool period, you can get help from a specialist.
Masturbation
Normal
Masturbation is the most worrying thing for parents. It is one of the behaviors. Many parents may be concerned about morality or because they do not know what to do when their children masturbate. The basis of masturbation behavior is children's exploration of their bodies. It is a very normal behavior for them to recognize their private parts just like they try to recognize the parts of their body. Masturbation makes children feel a pleasant feeling such as joy and pleasure. The child who discovers this can continue to do it throughout the developmental period. There is no specific age range for when masturbation begins. Some children can do it when they are wearing diapers, some after they have acquired the toilet habit, and some at the age of 4-5. Masturbation may also be due to the child's special situation. For example, her vagina may be constantly itching due to her health condition. She may have had an operation on her vagina at a young age or during infancy. Parents may be constantly warning. It is also normal for the warnings to stop working after a while.
Not Normal
Your child persistently masturbates instead of participating in activities at school, playing games at home or any other activity. If it does, you should definitely get help from an expert. If he is a neglected child in the family, he may meet his attention by touching his own body. He may not be able to feel his parents' love. If your child's attention is only directed to his private area and he does not respond to any alternatives, a child psychiatrist should be consulted.
Sexual Development
Normal
“Mom, how was I born? ?”, “Why are boys and girls different?” If questions like these start to come up, it can be said that your children are in the period of sexual development. During this period, they can ask many more questions based on their curiosity. How you answer these questions and your reaction affects your child's sexual development. During this period, it is normal for children to touch their genitals, masturbate, want to kiss, want to look at or show their friend's genitals, or try to play with the theme of being a doctor in games.
Not Normal
Parents should know the limits of their child's sexual curiosity and when it may pose a danger. . Sexual behavior problems can pose a risk to the safety and well-being of your child and other children. It may signal exposure to physical or sexual abuse. Expert help should be sought in cases such as having knowledge of certain sexual behaviors or explicit sexual language, engaging in sexual intercourse with other children similar to adults, or harming a friend's genitals.
Divorce
Normal
Children may have some thoughts during the divorce process . These; “If my parents don't love each other anymore, then they won't love me.”, “Who will take care of me?”, “Did they break up because of me?”, “Did they divorce because I was a bad child or misbehaved?”, “I don't want my parents anymore. "Won't I be able to see them?", "My father left the house, what if my mother leaves too?", "We won't be able to play or eat together anymore." These thoughts, whether expressed or not expressed by children, are extremely normal.
Not Normal
Children may have many wishes after divorce. "Mom, "Shall my father stay with us today?" “Shall we go out to dinner together?” “Should my father come on vacation too?” They may ask questions such as: Some parents become weak in the face of these questions from their children and do as they say. This can confuse children even more. You may not have given clear messages about your divorce. Your child says, "Don't divorce, get back together." Even if they make requests like this, you should say that the parents will decide this. The fact that some divorced parents do not want to have contact with their other parent due to the problems between them may also have a negative impact on the child. Being a bad spouse does not mean that you will be a bad mother or father. If the mother or father is bad to you but good to their child, they should be allowed to meet.
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