In Turkey, 8 thousand children (approximately 80% of whom are girls) are subjected to sexual abuse annually. I will try to tell you what we can do to prevent sexual abuse.
Yes, as everyone feels and knows; Although it is not easy to talk to your daughter or son about sexual abuse, it is necessary to protect her from a possible situation.
Talking to your child about sexual abuse and risky situations ensures that she is informed about the risks in the face of a possible situation in the future and that she becomes a victim of this situation. It prevents it from happening.
Preventing Sexual Abuse:
To prevent sexual abuse, it is important to discuss this risk with your child.
Talk to him/her once and give clear information and explain the topic. After explaining and informing about this issue, do not continue talking by showing the news and images in the media. If you dramatize this issue too much, you may cause your child to feel uncomfortable and develop a fear that the world is a very dangerous place and that he/she should not trust anyone anymore.
Things to know about Sexual Abuse:
It should not be forgotten that most sexual harassment is committed against children by people they know.
Even if your child is aware of this situation, the responsibility to prevent sexual harassment belongs first and foremost to the parent.
You yourself are a victim of sexual abuse as a child. If you are, you may feel uncomfortable talking to your child about sexual abuse and its risks, or you may be afraid that it might happen to your child. In such a case, consult a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in sexual abuse.
Some questions that will help you start a discussion with your child about the risks of sexual abuse: (Ask the following questions to your child and ask what you would do)
What would you do………..?
→You lost us in the crowd..?
→The neighbor, brother / uncle X, came to see you after school or while you were playing in the park and said that your mother is waiting for you at home… ?< br /> →A caregiver/person/man who knows you “Come on, let me see you naked before I sleep.” said… ?
→Someone we know offers to take you to the park without your request or permission ..?
→Someone you know, someone we love, said, "Let's keep this a secret between us, don't tell your mother!"?
→During your swimming lesson, the responsible person acted or talked about your genitals. .?
→On the road, an adult who seemed like a good person said that he lost his cat on the street and asked, "Can you help me find it?" wanted to take naked pictures…?
→Would an adult want to show you pictures of naked people…?
If you are worried that someone you know is sexually abusing your child:
Do not ask your child about family members, neighbors or relatives. If you feel that someone is sexually abusing you, no matter who that person is, trust your intuition and try to find out what really happened, instead of avoiding the situation that you think is wrong.
How Should I Act?
Do you feel uncomfortable with the person you suspect? Talk to your child to find out if it is not.
While having this conversation, try to get information in a calm tone, without blaming or giving advice.
If you cannot have this conversation, tell your child which physical contacts are appropriate and which are not.
Tell and explain that no one has the right to touch their body in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable or frightening.
If they experience inappropriate, unintentional physical contact, they should tell you and trust you that you will not blame them or get angry at them.
Remind that the most important thing is that your child is safe and well.
What if your child confesses to you that he or she is being abused?
Children are often reluctant to talk about the abuse they experience. They are afraid.
The person who abused the child may have told them to keep it a secret, may be threatening the child or manipulating the situation in various ways.
Or the child may be ashamed of what happened, feeling guilty, or He may be afraid that you won't believe him/her/what happened. (Because 80% of the abuse is from familiar people such as close relatives/father/brother)
If the child shares that he is being abused, he feels safe with you and It is a sign that he trusts you.
If the child talks about abuse, it shows that he knows that this behavior is wrong and wants help to stop it.
How should I react?
Hear him carefully. Let him know that you are listening and taking his words seriously. “Tell me!”, “Don't hide it!” , "talk! ” instead of saying “Are you sure?” in a calm voice. Say this and he/she won't think you don't believe him/her, so he/she can tell you without fear.
Let the child explain what happened in his/her own words and sentences, do not cause the child to become withdrawn with your questions, listen carefully first.
What happens during this process? Tell him that you will support him and be with him no matter what.
Keep your calm even if you are shocked or horrified by what he tells you.
Do not show that you are angry, sad and angry, because the child disturbs you and He may feel guilty thinking that you don't carry it.
Explain to him that it is not his fault and reassure him. Never forget: Children are defenseless and cannot be expected to protect themselves!
If the child asks you to remain silent, tell him that you understand that he is afraid, but that you are there to help him. Explain that what he said is very important, and that if you do not tell the issue to the authorities and relevant people, the abuser may continue his actions.
Go to the nearest Police Juvenile Branch and report the matter anonymously.
When should I be worried?
The following are behaviors that are not very common in a young child, and when encountered, it is necessary to be careful. Some of them are signs of sexual harassment.
If your child touches his private area so often that he does not care about any other activity.
Even though you have warned him many times, he continues to touch his private area in front of other people. …
If you have explained and taught the child about swear words and words that are considered shameful to be used in public, but he continues to say shameful words that he should not say (or words with sexual connotations), even though you have warned him many times, you need to take the matter into consideration.
You can help your child on the subject. To learn, be sure to get the books listed below to explain and understand the process by looking at the pictures and telling stories appropriate to the child's age.
My Body Belongs to Me
I Won't Go With Everyone
Would You Keep It If I Tell You a Secret?
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