What is Vaginismus?
Vaginismus; It is a situation in which sexual intercourse cannot occur as a result of a woman's involuntary contraction of her vagina due to some fears and concerns, which is seen in all walks of life, regardless of education and socio-cultural level. Sometimes, these contractions may occur not even when the penis enters the vagina, but only when imagining intercourse. Vaginismus, which has a high prevalence in our country, is seen mostly in newly married couples, but we also see it in couples who have been married for years. While its incidence is between 2-4% in the world, it reaches 10% in our country.
Causes of Vaginismus There are many reasons that vary depending on the person and the cultural environment in which they live. Although it may seem pointless for the vagina, which is physiologically flexible enough for a child to be born, to contract and close itself against sexual intercourse, it is understood that it is a normal reaction, considering the anxiety, fear and anxieties experienced at that moment. What is important is the psychological reasons underlying these concerns.
•Failure to obtain healthy information about sexuality, which is perceived as shameful and forbidden in our society, wrong and insufficient sexual information,
•The frightening and frightening situations in the first night stories told in exaggerated ways create fear in young girls that they will suffer a lot during intercourse,
•In our society where virginity is sacred, the hymen will tear, burst, cause a lot of blood. Anxiety that it will leak,
•Concern that the vagina is small and the penis cannot enter,
•Lack of sufficient stimulation and affection,
•Concern that the hymen is too thick,
•The man's rude behavior during the first intercourse,
•The unconscious inability to accept femininity and remain a girl, not losing her innocence,
•The girl child's lack of importance in a family where the mother is seen as worthless Refusing to be a woman because she wants to,
• Past abuse and traumas,
•Fear of pregnancy and birth,
•Sexual insecurity,
•Sexual reluctance,
•Gender identity problems,
•Insecurity,
•Consideration that sexuality is not pleasure for women There may be reasons such as the perception that there is v,
, or there may be information distortion, unconscious reasons, the transfer of a different anxiety and fear that the woman is not aware of.
How Does Vaginismus Affect the Relationship?
The first reactions in vaginismus are generally the inability to make sense of the situation, fear and panic, hopelessness, failure, couples feeling guilty towards each other and helplessness. They generally do not know what to do and postpone the solution.
While women feel incomplete and inadequate, men may experience anger and resentment because they are perceived as unwanted and rejected. They feel intense despair, thinking that the situation is unique to them.
It has been observed that if left untreated for a long time, problems such as sexual reluctance and premature ejaculation occur in men. In addition, the basis of many conflicts in marriage lies in the absence of sexuality.
In our society, where even discussing sexuality is considered strange, it is very difficult to express the problem and seek a solution. It is often hidden even from the closest people. It is expected that it will get better over time, and new attempts are made.
Why did this happen to us?
How will this situation go away?
Is there a cure?
How is it treated?
Where and to whom should I consult?
How will it be treated?
How long will the treatment last?
>How much does it cost?
If it is treated, will we experience this problem again later?
Many questions come to mind, such as. In this case, regardless of how long it has been, what needs to be done is to immediately be examined by a gynecologist and consult a sexual therapist. We see that our clients who come to therapy have been trying to maintain their marriages without having sex for years due to vaginismus. While sexuality, which has an important place in a happy marriage, is important for couples to strengthen their relationships and continue their generation, it should not be forgotten that the pleasure and enjoyment added to their lives.
Treatment of Vaginismus
Vaginismus, which is the easiest and shortest treatment to treat, is a psychological disorder. is the problem. It is a problem not only for the woman but also for both the couple.
After the gynecologist's examination to determine whether there is a physiological disorder, when it is understood that there is no organic problem and that it is due to psychological reasons, a therapist who performs sexual therapy is consulted. should be attended.
We recommend that married couples attend therapy together. If the woman wants, she can go to therapy alone. The participation of the spouses provides positive support to the therapy.
Many different techniques are applied in vaginismus treatments. The treatment method is carried out by taking into consideration the needs of the client with vaginismus problem. A personalized approach is taken depending on the underlying cause of the problem. While some clients see that the problem is solved only by providing information, some require behavioral therapy techniques, and some require detailed dynamic psychotherapy techniques regarding the past. All these techniques can be combined in a holistic approach.
The source of the problem is not just the penis not entering the vagina, that is, a situation related to the organs, but a common problem of the soul, brain and body.
Evaluation interviews are held in the first sessions of vaginismus therapy, in which we attach importance to the participation of both couples; Answers are sought to many questions such as the causes of the problem, how long it has existed, how it affects the couple's life, how it emerged.
In the second stage of therapy; Conflicts in the relationship are resolved and restructured. The spouses' perspectives on sexuality are evaluated and wrong thoughts and behavior patterns are corrected. Awareness is gained that sexuality is not a duty or obligation, but a necessity of marriage and life that is done willingly. What makes marriage exciting and lively is what couples need to do together; Topics such as communicating, touching, hugging, going to bed together and loyalty are covered. It is tried to ensure that the couples start dating again.
In the third stage; By providing sexual education, couples should be informed about sexuality, genital organs and sexual superstitions. It is ensured that they obtain accurate and necessary information about the subject. Sexual myths are addressed and the truth is clarified. It is emphasized that vaginismus is not caused by only one of the couples, but is a problem for both couples, and that they should solve it together. The importance of couples not blaming each other and supporting each other is emphasized. All known false beliefs about sexuality are addressed and it is taught that sexual needs of both parties are normal, natural needs and harmony can be learned in order to cope with feelings of guilt and sinfulness. In addition, some homework assignments are given that can be easily done. By emphasizing the mutual behaviors in the relationship, it is emphasized that sexuality is a quality and enjoyable act for an adult.
In the fourth stage; It focuses on deeply felt emotions. Couples' fantasies, perceptions of pleasure, self-discovery, and reflections of childhood are discussed. Tensions created by socio-cultural pressures are eliminated. It is ensured that men and women are freed from the negative effects of meaningless responsibilities and roles socially imposed on men and women on sexual life. In the final stage, various love games are suggested for the couple to do together in private. With these games, they learn about exploring their own bodies and their partners' bodies, what they enjoy, what they like, and the subtleties of the art of lovemaking without feeling any anxiety. They learn new and interesting emotional and sexual techniques. Most importantly, couples feel pleasure and happiness as they do all these with a great sense of joy to discover themselves and their partners in the most special way. After all, it is sexuality that makes their lives meaningful; They learn to live to the fullest and be happy without any problems or worries.
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