How to Control Anger?

Anger; It is a negative emotion that can arise suddenly in the face of any event we experience and lead us to destructive, hurtful or violent attitudes and behaviors. Have you ever thought about the speed of your responses to situations when you get angry? Have you ever thought that your anger is a destructive emotion that harms both yourself and our relationships?

In the face of unexpected events and in times of danger, a response comes from three response centers in our brain.

The first of these is the escape, freezing or fighting responses we give from the reptilian brain, the most primitive part of our brain, when we are faced with a real danger. For example, when there is a fire danger, we either make an effort to extinguish the fire, we run away, or we freeze without knowing what to do.

The second response center of the brain; It is the emotion memory. (limbic brain) This memory is a memory area that encodes the negative events, situations, and relationships you have experienced over the years, the emotions they made you feel and the traces they left behind. This area is unconscious, and we cannot realize the feelings and thoughts we keep in this area in our daily lives.

The third response of the brain is; It is the part of responding from the conscious level, that is, by thinking. This part of the brain is called the developed brain or neocortex region.

When you encounter an unexpected and negative situation during the day, even if it is not a real source of danger, your brain's first and fastest response comes from the area we call emotional memory. This response is almost like an automatic response and is impulsive.

Think of it this way, let your brain be a light source and the conscious part of your brain work like a generator. In case of a negative event you experience during the day, your power is suddenly cut off and it takes approximately 7 seconds for the generator to come into operation. Here, you spend 7 seconds in the dark before the part of the brain that responds with consciousness comes into play. In this 7-second moment of darkness, emotional memory automatically comes into play. The responses coming from your emotional memory originate from the negative emotions and thoughts that have accumulated in this memory until that day. It is a form of expression of emotions and unresolved thoughts that could not be expressed in time. If you feel anger in response, the emotion and thought records in your emotional memory are trying to reveal themselves to you as anger. Therefore, anger is a secondary emotion, and primary and real emotions are hidden in the records of your emotional memory. So, underneath every anger, there is an unresolved event and the emotional scars that this event left on you.

In order to control your anger in the face of an event you have experienced, before giving your answer, you need to take 7 steps to activate the conscious part of your brain that thinks. You have to wait seconds. You can breathe deeply during this time. After 7 seconds, after your conscious brain, that is, your generator, is activated, your mind will be enlightened again and your response will be rational, not reactive.

However; In order to get rid of the feeling of anger and its destructive consequences for life, you can also apply for psychotherapy support, which is a journey of discovery of your emotional memory of your own inner world.

 

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