Divorce; emotional, personal and legal unity between two people before the law and people; It ends in the dimension of individuals, systems and inter-individual relationships.
I think we would not be wrong if we say that divorce is a process as old as marriage. It is very likely that problems will arise in any long-term relationship between two people. Couples continue their relationships by finding solutions to these problems within their marriage. Or they end their relationship by using another solution; divorce. As Taraltay said, when it comes to the desire and decision of two people to get married, the unhappiness and reluctance of a single person is the reason for divorce.
So why do couples divorce? According to a research conducted by the General Directorate of Family and Social Research in Turkey, the most common reason for divorce that couples apply to the court for is "severe incompatibility". This, of course, is the official face of divorce. Apart from this, in one of the most comprehensive studies conducted in our country, participants were asked about the reasons for divorce. The most common reason given was the spouses' indifference and irresponsibility towards each other, with 27.3%. This reason is followed by reasons such as inability to provide economic support for the house, cheating, beating/mistreatment, drinking and gambling, and the intervention of one of the spouses' family of origin into the nuclear family.
The primary duty of divorced couples is parenting while terminating the husband-wife relationship. To be able to continue their responsibilities in their duties in cooperation. Numerous studies on this subject have shown that the most important factors affecting children's adjustment to the post-divorce period are the quality of the relationship with their parents in the first two years following the divorce and the extent to which they are exposed to the ongoing conflicts between the divorced parents. Therefore, the most important thing to know about divorce is that in order for couples to divorce in a healthy way, their relationships must be improved as a priority. Because as long as the conflict continues, divorce will be difficult and painful. This means that all individuals in the system will be most severely affected by the divorce.
During the divorce process, there are two situations that both parents and children, if any, encounter and have to solve; change and adaptation. Divorce is a difficult day for both the couple and the child. It brings with it many changes in one's life and personal relationships. There are a number of factors that make it easier for the child to adapt to his new life after divorce. The most important of these, as mentioned before, is that the conflict between parents should be minimal and, if possible, the child should not be exposed to these conflicts. Apart from this, the absence of many economic difficulties and the absence of radical changes in the child's life and living standards also facilitate the child's adaptation after divorce. Another facilitating factor is that the child sees both parents. Benedek and Brown state that mother and father are irreplaceable in a child's life and that the roles of both parents are complementary. Therefore, the child should spend enough time with both mother and father and be fed by both parents. Children should be sure that they are loved, and parents should be able to reinforce this with their behavior. This is due to the fact that children do not see divorce as a process that separates them from their parents.
Studies conducted both at home and abroad show that divorce is a more pragmatic outcome than children growing up in a conflictual environment. Perceiving divorce as a situation that needs to be dealt with, rather than as a disaster, will facilitate the adaptation process of both adults and children. The purpose of the couples therapy you receive before or during the divorce is not to reconcile you, but to help you make healthy decisions. Receiving psychological support for both adults and children after divorce will facilitate the adaptation process and have a positive impact on the well-being of individuals.
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