Elements of Communication Within the Family:
One of the most important characteristics of strong and healthy families is their ability to communicate healthy. Healthy families communicate with each other more openly, more clearly, more frequently and directly. They listen to what each other is trying to say and understand each other correctly, and do not make insinuations or use bad words. Family members accept and share each other's feelings, thoughts, dreams, hopes, pains and joys with understanding rather than criticism.
Communication is more than speech, it is what is said in the conversation, how it is said, why it is said, when it is said, and even what is not said. . Facial expression, gestures and facial expressions, body posture, and tone of voice are as important as what comes out of the mouth. Families with a healthy communication structure attach importance to spending time together, enjoy each other's company, share each other's good and bad days, sadness and joys. They respect each other's individual needs, feelings, ideas, dreams, and do not try to find fault in each other. They listen with all their ears. They don't make insinuations or try to hurt people with words. They do not prolong their resentments.
Communication at the dinner table should be kept positive, unpleasant topics should not be discussed during dinner.
Silence is one of the most destructive forms of communication, remaining silent in the face of what is said, "I am not interested in you", '' It includes messages such as "I'm bored with you", "I'm angry with you", "I'm an enemy of you".
Listening is an extremely important skill. Everyone has the skill of listening, but most people do not devote themselves to dialogue, criticize, interrupt, interrupt, plan what to say rather than listening, and make mistakes such as getting defensive. For active listening; While listening, one should not judge or criticize. One should try to understand well what the other person is going through and to feel what he or she is feeling. Allow him to tell what he wants to say to his heart's content, so that he can relax and make him feel that you are listening to him. To make sure you understand correctly, repeat what you understand, ask questions and ask questions and ask questions. Try to understand his feelings and reflect the messages you received from him. Summarize the idea you came to as a result. While doing these Do not criticize, do not give advice, be understanding and mature.
Communication Obstacles:
Giving orders, directing: He thinks his feelings are unimportant.
To warn, to intimidate: He feels worthless, he feels anger.
To give moral lessons: It forces the person to resist.
To decide for him: He feels that it is thought that he cannot decide on his own.
Teaching, lecturing: He feels that he is seen as unreasonable and uninformed.
Judging, criticizing, blaming: Arouses feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.
Name-calling, mocking: It lowers the self-perception and shakes self-confidence.
Belittling the event: It arouses anger, thinking that it is not understood.
Questioning, testing: It increases feelings of insecurity and doubt.
Distraction, deviating from the topic: It creates the feeling that their ideas are not respected, their stories are not listened to, they are not cared for.
Interpreting, mind-reading: It arouses anger, prevents people from expressing their feelings.
Hidden Messages: Communication should always be honest, clear and open. Insinuating speeches, unclear messages, and sentences open to interpretation cause problems. In this type of communication, misunderstandings, resentment, anger and resentment may occur. Moreover, these messages, without being aware of it, with subconscious impulses, make the other person say words that will hurt and harm them, and they may not realize the damage they do.
Empathy: It means correctly understanding the other person's feelings and thoughts by putting himself in his shoes. When a person cannot empathize, he cannot understand the other person's feelings and why they react the way they do. In the empathic approach, one understands what the other is feeling and can be more supportive. Feeling understood by others alleviates a person's troubles, increases self-confidence, and makes one feel safe. A person understands that he/she is empathized when the other person does not criticize him/her, does not blame him/her, does not make comments without listening fully, while explaining something.
Conflict in the Family: Conflict is generally seen as a situation that should be avoided. Conflict is not a mistake but a problem to be overcome. situation. It allows for new learning and improving the relationship. Maybe it provides an opportunity for necessary change in the family. The pleasure of overcoming a problem motivates the person to solve future problems. When family members can solve problems, it makes the family stronger and binds it with stronger ties.
The main reasons why there are fewer conflicts among healthy families are as follows.
a)Family members can express their feelings and thoughts to each other without hesitation.
b)Family members have a sense of togetherness and, in addition, they respect each other's individuality and personal lives.
c) Not to prolong the resentments and resentments between them.
d) When making a decision on any issue, the personal needs and expectations of all members of the family should be taken into account and not to be a fait accompli.
e) To solve the problems constructively, not destructively. A solution is sought through other means and one is willing to find a solution before the problem gets bigger, and the solution of the problem is not postponed.
f) Problems are perceived as our problem, not my problem or your problem, and the responsibility is assumed jointly.
Stress management in the family:
Do not accumulate your troubles and anger.
Find hobbies and interests that will relax you.
Life should not only be about work. Create opportunities to have fun and relax with your family.
Set achievable goals for yourself and your family, do not put too much pressure on yourself or them.
Accept with maturity the things you cannot change in life.
>Learn to say no to others.
Accept the mistakes of family members with maturity.
Do not argue with family members when you are angry, nervous and tired.
Do not argue with anyone without understanding what the problem is.
Do not speak without thinking, think twice before saying hurtful, hurtful words.
Listen to what family members want to tell you.
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