When it comes to grief, most people think of a process that occurs only after someone dies. However, challenging life events such as death, separation from a loved one, abortion, leaving a job, organ loss, divorce, migration, financial crises can also result in the mourning process.
Turkish Language Association defines the word 'mourning' as "Death or death." He defines the pain arising from the disaster and the behaviors that indicate this pain as "mourning".
The mourning process is perhaps the moment when we feel most helpless in the flow of life. No matter what your age, it is the most difficult period of life.
Most of my clients describe this painful process as "I feel like a piece of me has been torn away", "I want to cry but it feels like there is a huge stone in my heart or even in my throat" or "I have grown up". . In fact, a client of mine gave me a poem he wrote during his mourning period, which I still keep among my notes. There was a lot of longing and the weight of life in it.
"They took my childhood
They said life, they said future
While we have no guarantee of living tomorrow..
I miss being a child.
I miss aimless fights and reasonless laughter
I miss being happy with a piece of stone or a ring made from a napkin.
Watching the sunset in Izmir,
Antalya beaches and nights,
Watching the Porsuk Stream from the balcony
Even my nonsense conversations
p>
I miss you listening to me as if you were telling me about the country's issue
I miss dreaming.
I challenge the world in its shadow
I forget the world when I lay my head on its belly
They took my great plane tree today.
They took my child, my childhood today
I GROWN UP.. ”
When a person leaves the person he loves or dies In short, when you "lose your loved one", the painful mourning process begins.
This process, which develops beyond your control, proceeds individually. The symptoms and effects of the mourning process may also vary from person to person. These symptoms and effects are physical. It is seen as cognitive, emotional and behavioral symptoms.
This is a natural but challenging and stressful process.
The symptoms of the grief process are often very similar to the symptoms of depression. with an expert Going through a healthy grieving process together is of great importance for the person at this point.
A healthy grieving process does not mean forgetting or no longer loving the lost person. Accepting the loss and the resulting emotions means learning to cope with these emotions.
In order to continue one's life normally and healthily, one must mourn the loss and complete the mourning process.
>Although the grief process varies from person to person and mostly depends on personality characteristics, past life experiences, the type of loss/separation, whether it was expected or not, the person's psychological state before the loss or separation, and their psychotic history determine how this process will proceed.
There are certain stages of the healthy mourning process.
Stage:
Shock and Numbness
In this stage, you may have difficulty grasping the reality of the loss. Extreme. Lack of reaction, emptiness and unreal feelings may be experienced.
Stage 2:
Denial/Disbelief
You can deny the loss, in this stage there may be people who continue their lives as if nothing happened.
Stage 3
Desiring
The person is expected to come back. If you are questioning yourself with the question 'Why did this happen to me?', you are still in this stage.
Stage 4
In this stage, pain is felt more intensely. Feelings of sadness and longing predominate. You may feel like you cannot enjoy life. Symptoms such as loss of concentration, reluctance, anger and restlessness are observed. This is the period when you realize that what is gone cannot come back. With the awareness of this fact, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness emerge. Feeling tired/exhausted and loss of desire are at the forefront.
Stage 5
A long time has passed since the loss, while the intensity of sadness gradually decreases, longing becomes slower. gradually decreases to normal level. It's time to rearrange your life.
All these stages do not have to go in the order above. Changes may be seen in the order of the stages.
The normal grief process usually lasts between six and twenty-four months and subsides over time. Continuing these experiences in the later stages of the mourning process may be a sign of pathological grief.
No matter what, do not go through the mourning process alone. Either don't work. Have people around you who are trying to help you, hold the hands of your loved ones
Read: 0
